There are many unwritten laws by which we must abide.

One of those laws states that anyone of an older generation has to criticise pop music.

I am a firm disbeliever in laws, so I refuse to criticise modern music, even if it is completely lacking in talent, originality or music and is as pleasant to listen to as a pounding headache.

I have noticed a trend in recent years that seems to have become another unwritten law – the fact that the majority of female “singers” have to appear on stage in a state of complete undress. No matter what age the singer is, she has to appear in a state of almost total nudity. I’m not complaining, by the way. just commenting. I can’t help but feel that this ploy is to distract us from the fact that the singer has about as much musical ability as a cow farting. In fact, the law seems to state that the amount of clothing is directly proportional to the level of talent.

Another somewhat newer law seems to apply to male singers. I have seen a few male pop singers interviewed on television, and this is where their law comes into force. Apparently the law states that “upon seating thineself within a studio, thou shalt rest thine ankle upon the knee of the other leg” or words to that effect. This peculiar mode of rest seems to be unique to pop singers. I have never seen an actor, a politician or anyone else do it. It looks rather uncomfortable as it twists the legs into a sort of 7. I’m not sure what the purpose of this strange arrangement of the legs is. Is it a demonstration of how nonchalant they are? Are they trying to convince us that they are completely at ease? Or are they simply acknowledging the fact that they all talk through their arses?

The other night I thought I would try it out. I carefully placed my right ankle on my left knee and sat that way for the evening. I didn’t feel particularly carefree. I didn’t feel particularly casual. In fact it was rather uncomfortable.

And the circulation is only just starting to resume in my right leg.