Lopsided

Head Rambles Posted on by 8

There I was, happily about to doze off when I noticed something.

Now yesterday was a hectic day of frantic succumbing to the Black Dog which amongst other things led to a somewhat restless night, so the one thing I needed today was a chance to doze.  It was not supposed to be a day where I would have to think.

However, there it was, staring me in the face.  Martin Scriblerus was looking distinctly wrong.

I remember setting all those images so they neatly fitted into their boxes yet there suddenly seemed to be a lopsided look to them.  I don’t like lopsided.  It upsets me.

Now the site itself hasn’t changed for a very long time, so any old backup should do the trick.  I restored a backup from the first of the month.  Bugger, but that didn’t make a difference.  So I tried one from the beginning of June, then May then fuckit January.  Nothing made any difference.  The site had decided to become lopsided and lopsided it stubbornly stayed.

I made a copy on my laptop.  That was fucking lopsided too.  Shit.  At least I could screw around with it and it wouldn’t matter if it broke completely.

I found the problem.  I could say that it was my vast intuitive powers that did the trick, but I have to confess it was purely by accident – a number was missing.  In all the millions if words and numbers that make up a website, just one fucking number was enough to screw everything up

I don’t know how or why, or even when it went missing but it’s back now and the site has lost its lopsidedness.

If anyone is interested, the number is 1100.

 

Smoking – On Ethics

Head Rambles Posted on by 21

Some three months or so ago I received an email from Dick Puddlecote.

He had been having lunch or dinner or breakfast or something with a chap from London, and somehow my name cropped up in conversation [I didn’t dare ask how the hell that happened].  Now said chap said he would love to get in touch with me as he would love to buy me a pint next time he’s in Ireland, and Dick asked me if he could pass on my email address.  With the smell of a free pint in the air, I of course said okay.

In due course, we started mailing each other.  In the course of those emails he happened to mention a paper he had written on the subject of the Tobacco Industry and the haze of misinformation surrounding it.  He sent me a copy of the paper.  I was impressed [to put it mildly].

Anyhows, I considered uploading the copy onto this site for general consumption, but there were two little obstacles.  The first was that he wasn’t sure if his company would approve and the second was a little more daunting – the file was a very large PDF one.

Now PDF files have two drawbacks in my book.  The first drawback is that people tend to read the first page or two, and then realise that there is a ton more pages to be read so they leave again.  That’s not counting the people who are just plain scared of opening files other than web pages.  The second drawback is that search engines tend to just ignore such files and just treat them as a black hole.

I pondered this problem and mooted the idea of sticking the whole thing on a web site, transferring the chapters into web pages.  And so the project began.

Over the past weeks the project has been a somewhat stop-start affair as I had other pressing engagements, such as feeding Herself and bringing the dog to the village for mugs of coffee.

Yesterday I moved the embryonic site to its new home –

“Smoking – On Ethics“

I used the old domain name that I had lying around, but I may change that.  Or I may not.  I don’t know.  Thoughts anyone?

There are still some tweaks I want to make to the site but the content is all there.

And I’m still waiting for that fucking free pint…..

Smoking for Jesus

Head Rambles Posted on by 10

I was talking to an old friend the other day.

It was one of those chain conversations, as I call ’em, where the topic is constantly changing as new subjects crop up out of the old ones, and a chance remark can set the whole chat off on a new tangent.  That’s the kind of conversation I like as I never know what we are going to end up talking about.

Anyhows, one of the tangents led onto the subject of smoking.  I should point out that my friend doesn’t smoke, or at least he has never smoked in my company.

“Do you remember the days when smoking was perfectly normal?” says he.

“I do indeed” says I.  “The days when non smokers used to have a box of cigarettes on the coffee table in case visitors should call.”

“Right” says he.  “When anyone called, it was part of the welcoming thing to offer them a cigarette along with a cup of tea, or maybe something stronger.”

“And people used to proudly display Waterford Crystal ashtrays or even Waterford Crystal cigarette lighters” I added.

“We used to have a strange thing in my house” he said.  “On Christmas Day when dinner was over my mother used to pass around the cigarettes.  Everyone took one, including two aunts who wouldn’t look at a trifle in case it contained alcohol, and those two aunts didn’t bat an eyelid at a six or seven year old being offered a cigarette.  We would all light up and solemnly smoke our cigarettes in honour of the day.”

“Were you included?” says I.

“Indeed I was.  Sure I was the six or seven year old.  We all had to smoke them, though I didn’t really enjoy them that much.  It was all part of the ritual.”

“Like a peace pipe” says I.  “Those were the days.”

“They were indeed” says he.  “In those days smoking and in particular pipe smoking were signs of gravitas.  Look at the likes of Jack Lynch or Churchill.”

We spent a happy few minutes listing off all the people who smoked, such as Einstein, Brunel and Harold Wilson.

“Those days are gone” says he sadly.

“Isn’t this just a little heretical?” says I.  “You being a doctor and all.”

He just laughed.

Just blame me

Head Rambles Posted on by 6

It has happened again.

Once I say something or do something, life takes a twist to prove me wrong.

Take the heatwave we have been having in Ireland.  The hottest period since nineteen seventy something?  Yes, that was all down to me.  We had been having one of the worst late winters in donkey’s years and at the beginning of May I ordered a full tank of oil.  Immediately the weather took a turn for the better and I haven’t used the heating since.  You cannot possibly claim that’s a coincidence?

Then yesterday I smugly wrote that I had spare time to spend on myself.  You guessed it – suddenly I am up to my eyes in stuff.

There are family problems.  Nothing serious, just Granddaughter the Elder being a teeneager.  You know the sort of stuff – tears, tantrums, fights, slamming of doors – and that’s just her mother.  GtE is ten times worse.  I told Daughter that it will pass.  I didn’t tell her that she only has about five or six years of that, or the fact that when GtE is growing out of it, Grandson the Younger will be in full teenage swing, followed a few years later by Granddaughter the Younger.  All in all she has the best part of two decades ahead.  Poor kid.

And then there’s a wee project that I mentioned previously just as an aside.  That is coming to fruition and with a bit of luck will be ready in a day or two.

Watch this space.

39

Head Rambles Posted on by 14

As days go, today is a quiet one.

Herself has been watered, sedated and locked in the attic.

The cat and the dog are fed.

Time for Me Time.

Actually it shouldn’t be quite so much of a quiet day as today is Daughter’s birthday.  Or rather it is the anniversary of her birthday as she isn’t literally born each year on this day.

Thirty nine years!  Fuck me but that makes me feel very old.  I have a daughter who is middle-aged!  Mind you she acts more like a teenager so maybe I don’t feel so bad after all.

Normally Daughter would call in today to see what goodies we had forked out for, but she is off camping somewhere [no – I don’t mean in the gay sense – the under canvass type of camping – though I doubt they use canvass any more?].  She has headed off with a group of friends to some place up the mountains where doubtless they will manage to start yet another gorse fire, assuming there is any gorse left to burn.  Just about any gorse in the county has burned off at this stage of the drought.

Speaking of drought there is a strange phenomenon occurring at the moment.  There is stuff falling out to the sky.  I think it’s water, which makes a change from all the ash from the endless fires on the Uplands.  Could it possibly be rain?  Damn!  That means the grass might resurrect itself from the dead and I would have to start cutting it again.

I suppose it’s inevitable.  Daughter goes camping and the first rain in weeks starts to fall?  I’ll blame her anyway.

As well as wishing her a happy birthday.