Tomorrow is a day of morning

Posted on by September 22, 2017 3

I came across some startling news the other day.

I have been waiting for the front page headlines in the mainstream meeja but so far no mention which is a little surprising.  They are more concerned with tedious little items such as Brexit and the threat of nuclear war between America and North Korea.

The fact is that the world is going to end tomorrow.

Now I’m not quite sure how it’s going to end as the various camps seem to be divided between biblical references and the fact that the planet Nibiru is going to smash into our wee world.

I confess I am a little sceptical about the Nibiru thing, as surely something big enough to break our planet into little pieces would be reasonably prominent in the sky by now?  Unless of course it is still way beyond our solar system still and is going to cover the distance from Pluto to here in less than 24 hours?  That would certainly fuck up the theory that nothing can travel faster than light?

Nibiru

Planet Nibiru about to spoil our day

The other mob are taking the more biblical approach and predicting the date by playing around with numbers and astronomical signs.  I found one detailed explanation on YouTube called “Overwhelming Evidence for a September 21-23, 2017 Rapture” which I would suggest you watch if you have 19 minutes of your time you wish to utterly waste.  And with the world ending in 24 hours I’m sure you have better things to do?  Like paying off outstanding bills, or shagging the next door neighbour’s wife [or husband] [or both] who you have always secretly fancied?

To confuse things even more, the biblical mob make no mention of a planetary collision but instead talk about the Rapture.  And what’s more this Rapture has already started and we are in the middle of it right now.  I checked out the window earlier and frankly I can’t see anything different, though at least last night’s rain has passed.  There again I haven’t a fucking clue what a rapture is so maybe it’s there and I just can’t see it?

Now if you do a Google search for “end of the world September 23 2017” you will find an amazing number of returns [85 million and some?] so there must be something to it.

I had a few things planned for tomorrow.  I have put them off until Monday, just in case.

You can’t be too careful?

 

JUST IN!

In the unlikely event that the world will still exist next week, there is a very interesting talk next Tuesday in Dublin –

Dublin: An Evening with Chris Snowdon.

Book early!

I would love to go but will probably still be cleaning up after the mess of a planet landing in the garden.

 

 

Licence my arse

Posted on by September 20, 2017 25

I see the French are considering another little money spinner.

France: €20 ‘licence to smoke’ proposed.

I have seen this idea mooted before, proposed of course by the professional smoker haters.  I swear they all sit around a table, tossing around ideas that would annoy smokers, while they idly stick pins in kittens.

Can anyone tell me what this “licence” has to do with health?  They actually don’t want smokers to quit as this would instantly cut off the new money stream.  This is purely and simply a method of extracting yet more cash from the pocket of the smoker.

The allocation of the permit would […] follow a mandatory medical examination, which would be paid for by the smokers and non-refundable.

So now we have a mandatory medical examination?  You go to an anti-smoker doctor who on a whim may declare you unfit for a licence because you have dandruff, and you then have to pay him for the privilege?  In effect this is a case of forcing “health” onto the population.  If I have a cough or some other chest complaint and I wish to continue smoking then that is entirely my affair.  It’s my body, my life and my business but under this proposal my autonomy is removed and I have to abide by the control of the Anti-Smoker Industry.

This licence also dictates how much I can smoke.  I get a licence for 20 a day, but then run into a stressful period, do I then have to “upgrade” my licence for those few extra fags?  And when normality resumes can I now “downgrade” again?  Presumably not – they have my money and there is no way they are going to give it back.  Similarly if I buy my licence and a month later I decide to quit, do I get a refund?  No.  So I might as well carry on smoking if only to get my licence worth..

What’s the betting that the next step would be to make it compulsory to display the licence card at all times?  Wear it on a lanyard or sew it into your coat?

Just sayin’

Hobbies and hobby-horses

Posted on by September 19, 2017 11

I’m in a strange place at the moment.

Physically I am grand apart from suddenly developing high blood pressure.  This, we all know is caused by my smoking and has fuck all to do with the fact that my family is imploding spectacularly around my ears.  Doc put me on some tablets, and according to the leaflet one of the side effects [amongst several dozen others which include death] is that I am to both gain and lose weight.  I’m looking forward to that taking effect as I should be quite a sight – constantly inflating and deflating?  I could become a tourist attraction in the village?

Mentally though things are weird.

There is nothing wrong with my mental state [apart from the fact that my family is imploding spectacularly around my ears], but I just can’t seem to come up with anything interesting to say here.  I know there’s a lot of shit going on in the world, and either I have already aired my views on the subject or others have covered the topic far more eloquently.

I was pondering this morning [I ponder most mornings – I like to stay regular] and had some interesting thoughts.  But they rang little bells somewhere at the back of my memory and sure enough I have already vented on those subjects before, and in some cases several times before.  I am becoming as repetitive as a highly indigestible meal.

Maybe I should take up a new hobby so I can write about that?  I’m not taking about bowls or bridge of even golf or any of those “what pensioners do” hobbies – I would like to do something just a little more challenging.

Archery would be grand and as a kid I spent my time making bows and arrows and terrifying the local wildlife [don’t worry – I never actually hit anything].  But nowadays they just make you shoot at a target which I would imagine would become somewhat tedious and boring after a while.

Maybe I should do something with a goal?  I would actually quite like to make myself a plane.  I’m not taking about one of those model yokes.  Oh no.  I’m talking about something that will fly with me inside it.  Again, as a kid I had that fanciful idea but I only got as far as collecting one plank.  That didn’t fly very well so I abandoned the project.

Maybe it’s time to resurrect it?