Hotel Bralifornia

Head Rambles Posted on by 10

Life is busy here at the moment.

I’m working on a wee project that may see the light of day in the near future.

I am also dodging all news and meeja outlets because they are all full the Theresa May shenanigans.  I am sick of hearing about confidence votes and Brexit.

There is one basic fact that the Great Unwashed in the UK seem to be unaware of.  It’s surprising because it is so fucking obvious.  

The EU is never going to let you leave.

Ever since its inception the aim has been to create a European Superstate ruled by the unelected elite.  They knew damn well that the idea wouldn’t be popular so they introduced it by stealth.  It was like the anti-smoker ban – salami slices starting with just a little bit and once that was accepted add another little bit and so on.

At first people went along with the idea.  It seemed sensible that a common trading agreement was put in place.  And then it sort of seemed sensible to harmonise some laws.  So then they started making their own laws.  A common currency seemed like a sensible idea [not having to change currencies on your holliers?  Great idea].  Bit by bit like the roots of a tree, they infested just about every aspect of member countries.

They now have their Super State in all but name.  They control our finances, laws, defence and most of all – trade.  There are so many treaties and agreements that everything is intertwined and interlocked.  They are like brambles in a garden – impossible to remove.

So the UK wants out.  No fucking way.  They will throw everything they have at the idea and will block any attempts to worm out from all the bureaucracy because it is all so deeply embedded at this stage.  In the event of the UK just telling them to fuck themselves they will simply build an economic wall around the UK forcing it to its knees, and effectively creating a blockade and plunging the UK into chaos.

You can check out any time you like
But you can never leave!

Mayday

Head Rambles Posted on by 10

Dearest Theresa,

I hear you are having a wee drop of trouble with a vote or something?  Something to do with a lack of confidence in your own party?

Now I have a very simple solution to your little problem.

  1. Announce that the vote is to be held and make sure everyone is in the chamber.
  2. Bolt the “No” door.
  3. Call for the vote.
  4. Get someone to shout “BOMB!!“.

I think I can guarantee unanimous Ayes?

You’re welcome….

Grandad

Routine

Head Rambles Posted on by 4

Life here is anything but dull.

Unfortunately to the outside world it would seem dull and tedious in the extreme, so if I wrote about my daily routines you would all fall asleep within seconds. 

You see, the daily goings on is pretty much the same every day so I would be able to write it once and on subsequent days just write Ditto ad nauseam.  Therefore I am somewhat reliant on the goings on in the outside world, but not much seems to be happening there either.

So with one thing and another, I find topics for rambles somewhat lacking these days.  It is difficult when one has an urge to write but fuck all to write about.

On thing I did come across was a wee video which one or two of my UK readers may find amusing?



I should never have started

Head Rambles Posted on by 14

I had to visit the eye clinic yesterday.

Nothing new there.  I didn’t get lost and my eyes are fine.  I just have to keep taking the drops [fuck!] and have two new appointments to return in six months and a year.  It’s nice that they are confident I will still be around then?

Anyways on the journey I had the SatNav running.  It’s mainly used for keeping an accurate speed check and also as a hands-free for my phone.  I think I know my way by now.

A minute into my journey a notice obliterated my screen saying some software badly needed updating.  No surprise there as I hadn’t updated it in ages.  I got rid of the notice and carried on.  So today I decided to update the software.

I should have known better.

Now Garmin, in their infinite wisdom only support Windoze or Mac.  Also they throttle their connections so any downloads are at dial-up speeds.  Because I don’t want to tie this machine up for 24 hours [or more] I decided to use my old stand-by emergency machine – a Packard Bell – which has a dead keyboard and battery.

I fired it up.  First problem.  No operating system.  Fuck!

I removed it from under the junk in the back room and set it up in the comfort of my armchair.

I fired it up.  It actually booted up this time so I told it to run Windoze.  It happily loaded Windoze 7 so I told the browser to connect to Garmin.  No Interweb connection.  Fuck!

I decided to connect it to the Interweb using cable as the wireless seemed a bit iffy.  I had to do some tweaks to the settings [I hadn’t used it since I got fibre] but it connected.

Of course all this time I was having to kill little notices telling me that this that or the other was outdated and offering to update everything.  Fucking irritating.  I closed them all.

I opened the Garmin site.  My password wouldn’t work!  I managed to reset that and got into their back-end site where I get updates and all that malarkey.  They told me I needed to download their software so the SatNav could talk to their server.  This is the stage that can’t be done in Linux, the bastards.  I downloaded it

I ran their little program.  It failed but gave no reason whatsoever.  I downloaded it again just to be sure.  Same result.  It will not run for love nor money and still gives no reason.

I decided that maybe Windoze wasn’t quite up to date enough for it and maybe there was one of those Service Pack fuckers missing.  I went into Windoze Update.  43 updates and God knows how many gigabytes.  Fuck!

I decided to install them anyway as at least I can leave the old machine to run along in the background.

It’s sitting there.  “Downloading 43 Updates (0 KB total, 0% complete)”.  It is doing sweet fuck all apart from a little green slidey thing showing me a progress that doesn’t exist.

God I hate Windoze!

News from the padded cell

Head Rambles Posted on by 19

I have to admit I love all this modern political correctness.

People are now trawling every archive they can find in the hopes of finding something that isn’t “inclusive”, “insulting” or just generally Politically Incorrect.  I mean we mustn’t offend absolutely anyone [or anything, for the gender deniers].

The latest is an attack on a couple of “festive songs”, namely A Fairytale of New York and Baby It’s Cold Outside.  Apparently the former is homophobic and the latter is none other than a “rape anthem”.  Whoda thunk it?  Now I’m not a fan of either song but am reasonably familiar with them [who isn’t when the fucking things are played incessantly?] and it would never cross my mind that anyone could be offended by either, except maybe the more musical amongst us who object to Shane McGowan singing as if he’s pissed out of his skull, which he probably was.

However we live in a world where the touchy feely snowflakes amongst us can and will be offended at the slightest imagined slight.

We are even reaching the stage where even animals and birds are affected.  PETA [God bless their little brains of insanity] are complaining about the implied cruelty to wild life with our common phrases and are kind enough to provide us with  alternatives to our little off the cuff remarks.

[Thanks Ian]

I cannot help but wonder what will happen when they get around to dissecting religion.  Will Hail Mary become an anthem for nonconsentual sex?  It appears that nothing is sacred in this absurd new reality.

I will leave the last word to Waterford Whispers –

Manhunt For Crazed Killer Called Off After Phrase ‘Manhunt’ Found To Be Sexist