I have seen the light
Here’s one for the Theoretical Physicists amongst us.
I mused yesterday about my errant garden light and its random habit of doing its own thing.
I discovered a new trick last night, purely by coincidence and I can only assume that somehow the light familiarised itself with my scribbles on the subject. It had never occurred to me that garden lights could be amongst my readers, but we live in strange times.
Anyhows, back to last night.
But first maybe I should explain the lighting layout in the kitchen/living room. There are three main circuits. There’s one for the living area and two in the kitchen, with one over the sink area and the other the other side of the room. Usually the living section is the first to go on, followed by the sink circuit when the kettle need to be boiled or [God forbid] that I should have to do the washing up. The three sets are very rarely used together.
Last night the garden light was pulsing away merrily. I had already switched on the living area set as that covers the area where Penny is most likely to drop a poo [or four or five]. I went and switched on the sink lights. I realised something…… the garden light was now steady and bright. Was this coincidence or had I made a breakthrough? I switched off the sink lights. The garden light started flashing again!
Later on, I was getting ready to go to bed. The garden light was burning brightly. As I was switching of the room lights I thought I would throw in one last test. I switched off the sink lights. The garden light started flashing. I switched on the sink lights. Garden light went steady. I switched off the sink lights and the garden one went dark which should have been its default state at that time of night.
I mused on this conundrum. How did switching the sink circuit affect the garden light even though each is on a different spur? The first thought was that the sink lights [which are on a dimmer switch] could somehow be interfering with the LED circuits. I discounted that as that would have been obvious when I first installed the garden light. My next thought was that maybe it’s the voltage. Maybe changing the drain on the supply was affecting the garden light? That would explain why things had started to play up after a long period – the supply voltage had changed somewhat?
Living in a rural area has taught me that leccy supplies can vary somewhat and even disappear at times. There have been times in the past when the voltage has dropped dramatically and lights became a mere glimmer and everything else refused to work.
It’s time to call an electrician. There are a couple of other things needing attention so it wouldn’t be a wasted call-out.
As luck would have it, I have the number of a good leccy cowboy.
Living with a flasher
I have a light outside the back door.
It is one of those motion sensitive LED yokes that lights up half the parish.
Originally there was a lamp with a little tubular bulb but that kept blowing and was a pain in the arse to fix as the bulbs were fiddly and the light happens to be in a very awkward spot where the step ladder isn’t quite high enough and my aluminum ladder is a bit too long. Anyhows, a few years back I replaced it with a LED one which was brilliant [literally].
A while back the light started doing its own thing which wasn’t quite the thing I wanted it to do. As darkness fell the garden became dark, as gardens tend to do after sunset. If anyone opened the back door the light would spring to life and that was grand. Except that it didn’t switch off again. The entire estate would be floodlit for the rest of the night. Come daylight, it would be off again having obviously decided it was redundant. This phase lasted a year or so.
The next phase I discovered during one of my strolls around the estate – the light was now on permanently. It was quite irritating as it would blind me when mowing the lawn. The neighbours must think I have shares in the leccy company [which I don’t]. This phase also lasted about a year.
The next phase brings us up to date. The light has taken to flashing. It randomly picks its own time and then switches on. But it is now flashing at the rate of two or three flashes per second. If nothing else, it is protecting us from any burglar who suffers from photosensitive epilepsy. I don’t mercifully suffer from that condition but still the flashing is very hard on my eyes.
I cannot work out a pattern. Sometimes it remains dark [after dark] and comes on when the door is opened. Sometimes it’s steady and other times it flashes. Or it may decide to have a spell of flashing during its “on” phase before randomly picking a time to behave itself.
It’s flashing now. Mid afternoon. I don’t know when it started or when it may finish. It is really fucking annoying.
I suppose I’ll have to replace the whole unit which is expensive and is a bugger to replace.
There are times when electronics really pisses me off.
Trying to contain myself
Such an exciting week lies ahead.
I am positively bursting with excitement.
The first rivetingly exciting event happens tomorrow. They are going to release a new version of WordPress! Wow. But gone are the good old days when a new version brought all sorts of exciting changes such as a new look or brand new features. As far as I can make out this version just fucks around further with their abominable Gutenberg editor. So this update probably just means it will fuck up all my sites.
I phoned the crowd who are supposed to be insulating the house against all the cold weather we have already had. Apparently we are second on the list! Great. Maybe then I can replace all the crap on the window ledges that we removed weeks ago so they could replace the windows. There is one thing I can guarantee though – as soon as all the insulation is done to keep us nice and warm, we are going to have a long blisteringly hot summer. I always buy a new raincoat before a holiday as it guarantees a cloudless sky. That’s also the reason I never buy sun-glasses which have the opposite effect.
On Thursday I have an appointment with Doc to see if he has any fresh ideas about the infection up my nose. I have already been through three courses of antibiotics but I am still blowing out horrible sticky snots, wiping up drips on my nose, sneezing and suffering stinging or aching up the nostrils and a generally painful face. Then there is the disgusting smell, which I can only describe as a cross between a three week old cadaver and burning feathers.
Then the weekend marks the start of summer time when the evenings will be brighter. I’m not worried about the mornings getting darker as usually I’m asleep through that bit.
And sometime I had better do the washing up which I have been meaning to do since last Wednesday. The room is in a bit of a state too with paper all over the place mopping up dog piss mixed with paper I have used to blow my nose.
Don’t I lead an exciting life?
I hope I haven’t made anyone jealous…
Sunday Bliss
Nearly three o’clock and not a child in the house washed.
It’s Sunday – a day of rest for us weary workers, not that it makes any difference to me. Some of us are on a seven day roster.
It’s very quiet. There was the sound of a couple of lawn mowers for a while but they have gone quiet. It’s a long time since the swish-rattle of the push mower and it’s all done mechanically now. Briggs and Stratton must be rubbing their hands in glee? Even the smallest of gardens has to have a motor mower now. People are getting lazy.
A Blackbird is singing his head off at the top of one of the trees in the South Wood. All my efforts in loading seed onto the bird table over the winter seem to have paid off. There are quite a few Robins nesting as well along with a grand slua of other small birds. Every now and then I stick my phone out the door with the BirdNET yoke recording. It’s a neat little gadget that records and then identifies all the various species it has heard. It has an historical record of every bird and the date of recording. It does make the odd mistake though, unless a Short Toed Tree-Creeper actually did visit?
There’s no sign of Fucking Cat. We have two regular visits from cats – Boots who belongs to a neighbour and Fucking Cat. I don’t know where the latter has suddenly sprung from but he annoys me. Like Boots, he thinks he owns the place and wanders past the door with his orange and white head in the air. Originally he was just plain Cat but was promoted to Fucking Cat when he started to yowl around the place and spray his scent everywhere. I’m the only one allowed to do that though I tolerate Penny as she qualifies for equal ownership of the land. Now Fucking Cat regularly patrols the terrace yowling his head off. Fucking Cat!
Apart from the Blackbird all is quiet. Everyone in the Manor is asleep.
I think I’ll join them.