Remotely overwhelmed
I bought a new television some years ago.
It’s a good set – a Nordmende 36″ [I think]. It has a grand clear screen and does all the things it’s supposed to do.
Of course this meant I now had two remote controls: one for the television and one for the satellite. I programmed the satellite one to do all the functions of the other which is fine except for one thing – the satellite one won’t switch on the television. No matter. I can handle two remotes.
There are two things that really bugged me about the television. One is the remote control which is a horrible design and very finicky. The other is the sound but I’ll come to that.
Since that purchase I have made two additions to the system. One is a media box which is great for playing music and films that I have borrowed. The only problem with that is that it has its own remote control. So to play music or a film I start off with the TV remote to switch the set on and then use the satellite one and the media one to do the necessaries.
Then we got Netflix. At least this doesn’t have a remote control so I can use the TV one [which has its own Netflix button]. This means I’m back to using the remote I don’t like.
As I mentioned, the sound from the television is unadulterated crap. It’s tinny and even makes something in the set vibrate at certain frequencies. No mater what source I use, be it the satellite, the media box or Netflix, the speakers are the single common factor and therefore annoying.
I just bought a sound bar.
I know nothing about sound bars, never having had one. This was patently obvious when I opened the box – I didn’t know where to put it. It was a lot bigger than I expected and I really should have checked dimensions. Then there was the simple matters of finding a spare socket on one of the numerous multi-socket extensions. That wasn’t easy. Then there was the matter of connecting the bar to the television. Naturally I don’t have a spare HDMI cable but fortunately they provide a fiber optic “wire” [plastic?] and I discovered that the television has an optic socket which I never noticed before.
I balanced the sound bar with one end on a bookcase and the other end on the bed frame and switched on. It worked and it worked well. A lovely sound. Very rich as if I were listening in 3D rather than at the end of a telephone line.
There is only one problem though.
I now have another fucking remote control!
P.S. I defy anyone to find a universal remote that will work all the functions on all the boxes!
First Aid Kit
It’s very important, nay vital, that I carry a first aid kit at all times.
It’s one of the reasons that I wear a big very heavy jacket at all times as that jacket has copious pockets, plentiful enough and deep enough to carry nearly a week’s shopping.
Every time I go out there are things I have to remember to bring such as keys, phone and all my first aid stuff.
Daughter solved my problem with a lovely gift at Christmas. She gave me a little man-bag to sling over my shoulder. It is ideal for carrying all those life-saving items that normally would be distributed around my pockets. No more frantically searching through all those pockets when I need an item urgently.
So now a trip to the village [or, indeed anywhere] is much easier. My life support items all fit very neatly in my new bag leaving my hands free to carry shopping and a dog-lead.
So what are the essentials?
Two pipes [one never knows when one might be lost, stolen or run over by a lorry].
My tobacco pouch along with a spare pack [how is it that whenever I’m out my pouch always seems to be nearly empty?].
Two lighters because one of them never seems to work.
My little knife/scraper/prodder/tamper tool.
I think there is enough there to see me through any unforeseen circumstances?
Thought for the day
I was down in the village yesterday.
Naturally I called into the coffee shop.
I hadn’t been there in the last few weeks as there was a nasty wind out that would cut through you for a shortcut and that didn’t bode well for a comfortable mug of coffee on the terrace. Penny was missing her chicken too.
It was very pleasant there yesterday. It was cool but calm so I didn’t need a coat. There was a distinct air of impending spring. A blackbird was singing his head off in a nearby tree and a robin cheerfully cleared crumbs off the next table to mine. I let my mind wander.
Wandering thoughts are nice for clearing mental cobwebs. I meditated on such mysteries such as why Bumble Bees fly in an open door and then bash themselves off windows beside the open door. Yesterday however my meandering thinking came up with a problem that has me baffled. How do buses run their wifi?
Bus services make a point of telling us all that they have free wifi. That fine, but how does it work? To offer wifi they have to have connections to the Interwebs? Are they connected by cable to a central point? I find that hard to believe as they would literally tie traffic up into knots as they trailed cables through the rush hour traffic. That can’t be right.
Do they connect through a satellite? I have never seen a dish on the roof of a bus so that can’t be right either.
Do they use the mobile phone network? I find that hard to believe because mobile reception is pretty iffy around Ireland. I live in a reasonably civilised part of Ireland and I have to go upstairs to get a strong signal. As for 4G? Forget it. 5G? Hahaha!
There is only one possibility. They download the Interwebs onto a disk so it looks like the Interwebs. People happily surf what they think is the Web but in fact are sending Farcebook messages to a disk in the cab of the bus.
And they wonder why they never get replies to their messages?
A Sad Old Man
It has been a creeping process.
It seems to be complete now.
I have become old and grumpy.
There are the physical manifestations.
I have given up combing my hair because each combing produces fistfuls of my dwindling precious mane. At least the local birds are going to have a grand assortment of nests all lined with my cranial produce.
The stoop is now permanent. Trying to straighten myself up is just too painful. It’s less painful to just stare at the ground ahead as I walk. There again, backache is just a part of life these days. I also have lost my stride. I used to annoy people because my stride used to leave them behind and they’d have to sprint to catch up with me. Now they have to wait patiently while I catch up with them. I’m becoming a shuffler.
The other night I went to change a lightbulb. I used one of those two-step folding ladders as that would bring me to ceiling height. Standing on the top step [about eighteen inches above the floor] I felt really dizzy and had to climb down very carefully. I used to climb three-section ladders and walk along the parapet of three story [over basement] Georgian terraces without turning a hair.
Then there is the annoyance factor.
Most things annoy me now. I used to be a very tolerant chap. Now people just piss me off.
.Why do the modern yoof talk with such an appalling accent? This accent must be a result of the adoration of all things American because there are shades of a twang there.. One of the most irritating things is the weird replacement of “tt” in the middle of a word with “dd”. Utter becomes Udder. Better becomes Bedder. And of course there is the ubiquitous “like”. Like everything that is like said has to like include a multitude of “like”s. Like. “Like” means approval or equivalence and little else. It isn’t like [i.e. is not equivalent to] a condiment that is liberally sprinkled over every sentence. That one is definitely down to Americans. It’s an irritating and absolutely pointless affectation which has just become a grating part of modern speech.
I received a letter this morning. It’s from my Credit Union requesting proof that I am who I say I am. They request proof of my address by showing them a utility bill or a bank statement. I don’t get any bills, statements or any of that crap because, at their request I have gone paperless. It doesn’t seem to occur to them that I received their letter posted to my address which kind of proves that I live where I say I live and the address is correct. Otherwise I wouldn’t have received their mail and wouldn’t be in a position to respond. Logic is quickly becoming a lost art.
The list of annoyances goes on and on and I cold damn near fill a book with them.
But writing this is beginning to annoy me.
