I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that I had a new SatNav.
For various reasons, I haven’t been travelling too far, so I just brought Roger with me so I could practice shouting at him.
Last weekend however, I found myself travelling somewhat further abroad, and it involved some motorway driving.
I was merrily pootling along and wasn’t too far from the exit I was aiming for, when Roger gave a loud BONG. Nothing else, just a single BONG. I gave him a dirty look, and then realised why he had BONGed – the screen was now showing a picture of the exit ahead, and it showed dirty great arrows in the lane I was supposed to take. How the fuck did it know what the junction looked like? Don’t tell me that it has pictures of every fucking junction in Europe because I would find that very hard to believe. The picture was pretty accurate except for one thing – it didn’t show the Oul Biddy in her Toyota that I carved up before swinging across and making my exit. So it’s not that smart. Hah!
Another thing that annoyed me was that it kept binging at me. BING BING BING in quick succession. It was irritating to say the least. What’s more I couldn’t immediately find out why it was BING BING BINGing all the time. Every couple of hundred feet it would merrily BING BING BING for no apparent reason whatsoever.
Then I realised what was wrong with it.
The little fucker was complaining because I was exceeding the speed limit. The little fucking shit. It’s bad enough having the Nanny State moaning constantly on television that ‘speed kills’ but now Roger is in on the act too.
Somehow I am going to have to try to find some way of overriding that speed limit BING. It’s too fucking annoying.
My SatNav has become a SatNag.