Good little children

What the hell is happening to this country?

Irish teenagers have one of the lowest levels of alcohol consumption in Europe, according to the latest research from the World Health Organisation! 

What the fuck is wrong with them?  Don't they know they have a proud tradition to maintain?  To be overtaken by the likes of Denmark and Greenland [Greenland for fucks sake!] is nothing short of national humiliation.  Standards are definitely slipping since my day.  Time was when the hip-flask was almost part of the school uniform.  Nothing like a bracing snifter or three before an exam?

There is bad news too on the smoking front.  A seven percent drop over four years in the number of kids smoking?  That is nothing short of catastrophic!  What are they thinking of?  I sincerely hope they haven't been duped by all that shit the Anti-Smokers pump out.  Or there again, maybe they are just lying through their teeth [“never touch ’em” says the ten year old as he lights up his next fag from the previous stub]?  That must be it.  Maybe things aren't so bad after all.

Things seem to be a bit better on the shagging front, though they aren't giving so much detail here.  There seems to be fifty percent more boys at it than girls, which means there are quite a few slags around?  Bulgaria seems to be the place to be though.

There's one good thing about this report and no one can deny it.

If smoking and drinking rates are so far down [and it’s the cardinals of the Church of Health who are saying it] then there is no further need for Alcohol Concern, ASH or any of those other purse-lipped cunts in their fake charities.

They can all rev up and fuck off over a cliff.

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Good little children — 6 Comments

  1. When I was a lad at school it was traditional for smokers to light up furtively in or behind the bicycle shed. Can I suggest a theory to account for Irish schoolkids slipping badly in the international school smoking league table? I think the numbers of schoolchildren going to school on bikes has dropped dramatically as they are bussed to their catchment schools in clapped-out former public buses. Hence many school bicycle sheds have fallen into disuse and been dismantled for scrap. So there's one way for us to regain our self-respect as furtive schoolboy smokers. Start a go-to-school-on-a-bike movement. Bicycle sheds will again become social focal points. And since many schools are now co-ed, the girls can join the lads behind the sheds for a good puff and whatever. We'll put Iceland and Bulgaria in their place.

    • The old bicycle shed is legendary!  I remember in my day you could clearly see the gentle cloud of blue smoke wafting on the breeze from behind the shed.  The year I left  they opened a student smoking room, which shows how enlightened they were.

      Of course, when you think about it, so many kids get collected by Mammy of Daddy these days so they have fewer opportunities to nip into the shops.  I cycled and used to buy my two fags [6d, if I remember correctly] on the way home.  Ah the good old days……….


  2. A sorry state of affairs indeed.

    Our bike sheds were a bit exposed, and a bit of a hike from the playground. Fortuitously, the gym flanked the playground, and there was an extension which didn't run the full length of the gym, which created a cosy little 'smoker's corner', which could be easily guarded by the appointed 'screws', who in return for their watching duties would get a few drags of the cigs going round.


    • Hah!  I've just had a memory flash of the brother [religious, not familial] striding across the playground with the cane at the ready, as a stream of lads pour out from behind the shed.  I don't think he ever caught anyone though!

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