Look back in anger

When I started writing here nearly ten years ago I hadn't the faintest idea where I was going.

There was no plan or topic.  There was no intention other that to have a bit of craic and to see what happened.  If I had known that I would still be at it all these years on I probably wouldn't have started.  Initially I just scribbled off bits of whimsy but things seemed to have changed over the years.

So what brought about the change?

There was no singular occurrence, but just a gradual increase in frustration over the years.  My frustration was leveled at the so called "scientists" with their ever more ridiculous pronouncements, but even more so at the number of people who believe wholeheartedly in the utter bilge that was coming from the "scientists".

I am not a scientist [a true scientist, not one of those pocket-stuffing cunts with an agenda – they are not scientists] but I base my arguments on two simple things that require no knowledge of statistics or studies, but are based solidly on history and common sense.

History tells me straight off that all the talk of the "damage caused by smoking" is a right load of steaming crap.  In the last century nearly everyone smoked.  Yes, people died from respiratory diseases, but there was also a lot of pollution – does anyone remember smog, where visibility was down to a few yards because of coal smoke?  No one died of second hand cigarette smoke and its concept would have been a joke.  You would have been laughed out of it for even suggesting third hand smoke!

Yet now we are told that smoking causes a vast range of ailments but where is the evidence from history?  There isn't any.  And because people have "read it in the papers" the majority are scared witless by a wisp of smouldering leaf?  They believe that a brief "exposure" to a bit of tobacco smoke will cause irreparable damage yet are happy to hold regular barbecues in their garden which produce in the magnitude of thousands times more smoke?

So I am angry.

I am angry at those who because of their own little agendas and greed have stoked the fires of fear with their "studies" and their "reports".  They have done massive damage to society, causing death, unemployment, fear and loneliness without a scintilla of real evidence.  They really are the personification of evil.

I am angry at the politicians who have been led by the nose into passing laws which restrict freedom and interfere in everyone's lives.  They are criminally negligent in the treatment of the individual

I am angry at the Bovine Masses who believe all the shit that is shoveled at them on a daily basis without any thought, and who not only believe it but will shovel it out themselves to anyone who'll listen.  They are just criminally stupid.

But I am tired of being angry.

So where do I go from here?

I suppose I could go back to fluffy little stories about Penny, or give a daily account of what's growing in the garden?  I could tell tall tales of village life [I’d have to do some invention there – it’s a sleepy village].  I could write about my aching bones? 

I planted a House Leek last year at the edge of the terrace.

Nice.  Innit?

House Leek

 

 

Go take a hike

Sedentary lifestyles posing as great a threat to public health as smoking.

Oh do go and fuck off.

Seeing as nearly everything these days is as great a threat as smoking, then we might as well just stick with the smoking and leave it at that?

Now research on over one million people has found that sitting for at least eight hours a day could increase the risk of premature death by up to 60 per cent.

And what precisely is "premature death" anyway?  When the Grim Reaper decides to knock on the door then that's it, premature or otherwise.  Or does "premature death" mean that you will have just died before the Grim Reaper gets there?  It is a term that means fuck all.  It can only have meaning if somehow the normal date of your death is known in advance, which it isn't, so no one can say whether your death is premature or not.

The authors urged anyone spending hours at their desk to take a five-minute break every hour, as well as exercise at lunchtimes and evenings. They said sedentary lifestyles were now posing as great a threat to public health as smoking, and were causing more deaths than obesity.

They can "urge" until they are blue in the face but they can still fuck off.  So now sitting at a desk is worse than obesity?  Has it occurred to them that sitting at a desk could be a factor in the cause of obesity?  Well, no because there are the "Sedentary Nannies" and they don't want to tread on the toes of the "Obesity Nannies".  Each to his own little pot of research gold?

The authors warn there has been too little progress in tackling the global pandemic of physical inactivity since the 2012 Olympics.

What.  The.  Fuck?

What in the name of Jayzus has the 2012 Olympics got to do with it?  Are they claiming that the Olympics caused a global pandemic, whereby "Infectious Physical Inactivity" spread like a plague across the planet?  Is physical inactivity even infectious?  That's a new one on me.  They had better ban the Olympics so?

Cancer and heart disease were the two most likely causes of death linked to inactivity.

As yes, they would be.  There is no point in doing any research if it doesn't prove something causes cancer and heart disease.  Seeing as everything causes cancer and heart disease except old age [the primary cause of cancer and heart disease] then we might as well all give up.

The researchers also called for radical changes in government policies to encourage healthier habits.

Just go and FUCK OFF.

Now they are really boiling my piss.

It is not the business of "government policies" to encourage anything, least of all how I live my life.  It is none of the governments business what I do, what I don't do and how I do or don't do it.  If I want to live a so called unhealthy lifestyle then that is entirely my own business and no one else's, least of all the government's.  I am an adult so stop treating me like some infant who needs guidance at every step.

After reading that little piece of liquid diarrhea, I think I need to lie down.

Narrowband

I had a bit of a wry chuckle this morning.

If you're going to have a chuckle, a wry one is as good as any other kind?

Anyhows, I was browsing the papers as one does and came across an item about Eir [can anyone beat that for a daft name?] what used to be Eircom, our main telephone company.

Now the article is just a thing about them raising prices [since when does a weekly occurance become newsworthy?] and I merely skimmed through it.  But then I came to the line that was the cause of much merriment –

He added that any customer who had a question or query could contact Eir and it would work with them to find the most appropriate bundle based on their current spending and usage patterns.

Hah!

When did "he" ever try contacting them? 

Now they have been doing fierce work out at my hedge for the last little while building fancy boxes that look more secure than Fort Knox.  They are the much vaunted fibre cabinets that are to provide me with super duper speeds.  I have naturally been curious and have been rying to get in touch with them for ages.

Fibre cabinetMy wall, my brambles, their boxes.

I could phone them but that would involve endless menus of the spoken variety [“I do not understand – please repeat”] and life-long holding.  There is no point emailing them so that left one option – Live Chat.

A few days ago I found their Live Chat thingy and it apologised and said everyone was very very [very] busy and could I please try again.  Every time it was the same – no one available.  Day after day, the same thing.

Anyhows I did actually get through to them on Live Chat this morning.  I sat there waiting for the thing to switch from "Not available" to "Chat now" and clicked before it could flick bact to "Not Available" again.  It took incredibly sharp reactions to click within the nanosecond allowed, but I did it.

Yer Man [I’ll call him John, because that was his name] was very helpful.  He contacted my exchange and assured my I was in a very high priority area and that's why there was so much commotion outside my hedge.  I asked him how long and could I have it next week, and he said no but I could have it within six months.  Maybe.

He told me that when it comes, I won't know myself for speed, will have oodles of television channels [I sincerely hope that means less than I have at the moment] and can make free phone calls all day and every day.  In the meantime though all he could offer me was broadband about four times the speed I'm getting at the moment and the free phone calls.

I may go for it.  It'll cost me around €50 a month [no doubt to be increased next week and every week thereafter] which is less than the €80 I'm paying for the two seperate services.  Seeing as it will only cost me an extra €10 a month, I'll have two broadbands running in parallel and will be able to chat to myself via Farcebook.  If it works, I can get the old broadband removed, but won't be able to chat to myself any more.  We must all make sacrifices.

Interesting times,