This is getting really confusing.

For thousands of years mankind has been slugging alcohol.  Even birds and animals get in on the act.  It has been proven to improve health and longevity, and indeed has been used in medicine for countless generations.  It is part of nature.

Then they said it was bad for us.

Then they said it was good for us.

Now the fuckers are saying it's so bad that there is no safe level of alcohol.

No safe level?  Fuck me!  Someone had better tell all those birds and animals?  Next they will say that it is as addictive as cocaine and worse than smoking?  There does seem to be a bit of rivalry between the smoking, the drinking and the obesity lobbies as to which is higher on the league tables of "the most preventable cause of death"?

Even more confusing, they are now giving out to us oldies for overindulging.  Apparently there is an increase in over 65s being admitted to hospital because of the Demon Drink.

I don't get this one at all.  Are us Wrinklies suddenly taking to the bottle on retirement and pickling our livers in the process?  Is there some kind of time trigger that all old folk are destined for the gutter once they turn 65 and  partake of a drop of alcohol?  Is there perhaps some kind of metabolic reaction between grey hair and alcohol?  One way or another we seem to be drinking dangerously high levels of alcohol [as if it is any of their fucking business].

But why are they telling us this?  To pickle or bodies and brains we would have to have had many years of indulgence before we reach 65, so telling us now is a bit fucking late?  Or is this aimed at the younger generations as a warning to them what will happen if they imbibe too much?  That's a non runner as they couldn't give a shite about their future as it will never happen to them.  Everyone knows you're immortal until you hit the three score years and five.

One little point they may have overlooked is that those of us who are fond of a wee dram can hit top gear when we retire.  No need to worry about hangovers as we don't have to get up in the morning.  We don't have to dream up excuses for pulling a sickie.  Our time is entirely our own and if we want to stay in bed all day then we don't have to answer to anyone.  Most of us have worked for over forty years and we deserve to let our hair down if we so wish.

Why do I have the feeling that sooner or later someone is going to come up with the idea of culling us on our 65th birthday?  Maybe they already have and this is the salami slice effect taking hold?  Think of the advantages they will scream.  No need for pensions.  No need to worry about dementia or cancers.  Turn all the old folks' homes into vegan restaurants.  No more doddery old folk clogging the queues in the supermarket or the post office.  The list is endless.

Mark my words, someone will soon enough suggest it.

I need a drink.


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No such thing as a safe level — 14 Comments

  1. The UK Gubmorons have raised my retirement age to 68. So presumably if I get to be 65 and my drinking levels do not increase due to still being at work, and they do increase if I get to 68, this study will be proven incorrect.

    • Welcome!  I wouldn't worry about it too much if I were you.  By the time you reach 68 they'll have moved retirement to 70 [and by the time you reach 70…….. ].  You can't be allowed fall ill before then as you are still an effective tax producing machine.

  2. Today's Guardian has a lead story on its front page saying don't drink more than a pint of beer a day. OK I'll drink a liter of wine instead.

  3. I would have thought work was the leading cause of cancer in society – either through stress or some of the unsafe stuff floating around workplaces. Strangely enough nobody in government is advising us to give that up, and back in the years when folk in heavy industry were dropping like flies from asbestos-related illness you couldn't get so much as a squeak of protest from all these public health experts.

  4. When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
    With a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me,
    And I shall spend my pension
    on brandy and summer gloves
    And satin sandals,
    and say we've no money for butter.
    I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired,
    And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells,
    And run my stick along the public railings,
    And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
    I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
    And pick the flowers in other people's gardens,
    And learn to spit.

    (Jenny Joseph)

    ….I shall chain smoke twenty Rothmans in the public square under the "This is a smokefree area" sign, and on the station platform and in my car with a lifesize dolly on the seat beside me,

    And drink red wine and eat pizza every day at 12 o'clock at the outdoor cafe opposite the town hall and leave the mandatory salad untouched,

    And greet the health visitor with an open bottle of single malt and an ashtray. 


  5. I wondered if the idiot in charge of whatever department that spewed up this BS had converted to Islam, and was trying to frighten us into obeying the preachers of her favorite sky-pixie.

  6. I choose not to drink.

    but it's MY CHOICE!!!

    If in the future I so choose to drink alcohol there's no gubmint bureaucrat going to tell me what I can or can not have!


  7. There was an old Star Trek (The Next Generation) episode about a civilization where a person was terminated on their 65th birthday. This obviously relieved the government/public of having to support those who could no longer work or be a productive member of society. It also was a good overpopulation control system.

    So someone has not only already thought of this but put it out for public consumption as well. let's hope the "officials" don't watch re-runs?

    I beginning to believe there's no safe level of government…

  8. @Kirk – I'm now so cynical that I fully expected the assisted dying bill to be shooed in following which non-taxpaying oldies would find themselves being persuaded to die by the medics; even now I believe that those over a certain age don't enjoy the same level of effort which is expended on the younger.

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