The deepest cut

That's that done then.

I have mowed the South Lawn.

That may not sound much, but you can take it from me that it's not just a task of pushing a wee mower around the kip.  It's not the kind of acreage than can be done by hand.  And the first cut of the year is always the worst.

The problem starts with the mower.  It has a slow puncture.  And when I say slow, I mean it can last for weeks without a but of pumping.  Naturally I forget to top up the air during the winter so it's always flat in the spring.

I really fucking hate tubeless tyres.  In principle they're OK.  But when they're flat it's a nightmare to inflate them again, because the air just shoots out the rim.  Whoever thought of the principle of an air-tight seal caused by air-pressure is a twat. 

On Monday I removed the wheel and carted it down to Spanner's.  A foot pump is fuck all use and I need an industrial one.  Then there is the fun and games, wrapping a tourniquet of nylon rope around the circumference to distort the tyre and to get the tyre to press against the rim.  It took half a fucking hour of wrestling with the damned thing before the pressure started rising.  My pressure had already risen and I was dangerously in the red.

I was too knackered to mow after I got back so I left it today as the forecast was excellent – the warmest day yet, and nice and sunny.

Problem number two then reared its little head.  The grass was so long the gears kept squealing even though I was only cutting half a swathe at a time and in the lowest gear [and snail could run faster].  On the upside, a lot of the grass never recovered from last summer and is now just dust and mud.  Less lawn to cut.

It took over an hour, but as I said at the start – it's done.

It's funny how a well mown lawn can make the scruffiest garden look well.  If the grass is short and even, then I don't seem to notice the other scruffy bits.

And the smell of cut grass makes the whole effort worthwhile.


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The deepest cut — 15 Comments

  1. Heh! Last place I had in UK had half an acre garden, mostly laid to lawn. Even with the self-propelled jobbie (couldn't justify the expense of one of those fancy ride-on limos) it was almost half a day's work. As you say, it did make the place look half decent, and yes, the smell of fresh cut grass is very evocative, but fuck me it was a chore I was glad to see finished.

    • There is little to beat the smell of freshly cut grass [or hay].  I suppose soon someone will declare it as carcinogenic and will insist on a law against it?

  2. Agree the smell of cut grass is wonderful.  I enjoy it much more when wandering out on the back lawn with a glass of whiskey in hand to admire the work of her indoors, who says she loves cutting the grass.  Now, who am I that should stop her fun?

  3. if you are rubbing it in that spring has sprung you can go fuck  yourself! i'm looking out the window at yet more fucking snow! spring arrives here sometime in May with 3 days of summer sometime in july or august..oh how i wish i could smell the grass but right now all i'd get was cold frozen nose and frozen dog shit….i'm so done with winter right now mother nature needs a pill

  4. I'd mow my lawn. I'd love to mow my lawn. Unfortunately, it's under two and a half feet of snow right now. Hopefully, it will be gone by July.

      • It's the moaning time of year around here. Well, it looks like a long swim to warmer climes then. Do you have a spare room then?

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