A little touch of caution

Head Rambles Posted on by

I have just had a genuine What The Fuck moment.

I glanced at the papers and a new headline popped up.

New Zealand enters snap nationwide lockdown over one Covid-19 case.

Now surely there must be some mistake here? Locking down an entire country of five million because of just one fucking case?

But apparently not. That is what they are doing. This really frightens me, as it shows the extent of the fear and paranoia that has gripped the world these days. Is it not verging on insanity to close down an entire country just because one person has developed a bug?

The article cites another incident which they report, apparently with a straight face –

An investigation found three people sharing a room were infected by a Delta case staying across the corridor after their doors were both open at the same time for just three to five seconds.

Surely they cannot be serious? Is the virus so lightening fast that it was just waiting for an opportunity to flash across a corridor and into an adjacent room at the first lapse in security? In five fucking seconds? They have to be having a laugh.

The scariest thing about this article is the prospect for the future for those unfortunates in New Zealand. The Virus is out there, It is endemic at this point. It is going to be everywhere probably for many generations to come. People will develop a natural immunity eventually because that’s the way nature evolves.

Except for New Zealand. They somehow think they can keep the Virus out of their country permanently. But there is only one way they can do this and that is to isolate the entire country from the rest of the world. No more travel into or out of New Zealand. No more shipping of goods into the ports, and in fact they might as well shut down and demolish their ports altogether as no foreign ships will be allowed in.

And every time someone sneezes in Auckland they shut the entire country down for three days?

Fun days ahead…

 

Pfuck Pfizer

Head Rambles Posted on by

I have been inundated with concerned emails from you readers wondering where I have been for the last couple of days.

[/end sarcasm]

Actually I was/am ill. I’m not talking about a mild flu or a mild Virus or anything like that; I’m talking about a three of fours week genuine sickness cert for work [if I did work]. I honestly can’t remember the last time I was laid this low but it must have been some time in the Seventies.

It started last Wednesday, I got a severe pain in my back which started in my right shoulder blade, shot up through the side of my neck and then exploded in my head like a fucking firework. The pain in the shoulder was severe [about a 9] and constant but the little rockets into my head were random. So I kept going Fuck every time one went bang and this naturally annoyed Herself.

By Thursday the pain had spread down my spine and out onto my right arm. The neck and skull pains were constant too. I went down to ask the chemist for a really strong pain killer but all I got was a Nurofen. They told me that if I wanted something stronger I’d have to see Doc. But Doc is away on his holidays. Trust him to bugger off when for the first time I really need him. Anyhows, one way or another scribbling a scrawl here was the last thing on my mind. Apart from anything else my fingers were refusing to obey orders.

Friday came but the pains didn’t go. They got worse, up to a constant 10. Herself started phoning Doc’s surgery to see if she could get the Locum to write out a pain killer. The phone was constantly engaged or on the answering machine. Also bt this stage I could feel blisters appearing on the side of my neck where the pain was. Weird

By late afternoon we decided the best plan was for me to go down and do a sit-down protest in Doc’s waiting room, I put on my shoes and grabbed my keys. The phone rang. It was the Locum. She had heard the messages about severe pain and said she had a spare slot if I could get down there in ten minutes. I made it in five,

She was a lovely girl. Or I think she was as her face was covered but she had nice eyes, I told her I had visited Doctor Google and I thought I knew what it was. She laughed and examined me. “Right” says she, “What did Doctor Google suggest?” “Shingles!” says I. I was right and she said it was a very severe dose. I hadn’t realised but the blisters started at the top of my head, went all down my neck and all down my back. She asked me to remove my glasses as she wanted to examine my eye. I did with some difficulty as one side-piece seem to be stuck. I gave it a tweak and it came loose with a bit of my ear attached.. Apparently there was a very severe part of the rash there behind my ear.

When I was on to Doctor Google I naturally wanted to know a little more about Shingles. I had heard of it before and I even remember my sister getting it when I was eight or nine. But what caused it? Well, apparently two of the causes [they reckon] are being run down [not on the road, you idiot – they mean exhausted] or if the immune system has been compromised.

Alarm bells rang.

My immune system had been fucked around with not so long ago. Could there be a connection?

I did a search for Pfizer and Shingles. Bingo! Lots of reports of people getting Shingles after their jab. So now I know which cunts to blame,

Yesterday started of badly [pain wise] eased off a good bit through just sitting very still. Things went downhill in the evening though.

Today I awoke to find I only have one eye. My right eye is firmly closed by a swollen face on that side. One of the strange things about Shingles is that it only attacks one side of the head or body. Having only one eye means I have lost my depth perception, but it also means that for some strange reason I can’t type properly.

I hope that aspect clears up soon.

I need to be able to send all my details with great accuracy to my barrister.

 

Dredging the bottom

Head Rambles Posted on by

Herself and I watch a good bit of television.

I suppose we have around a thousand channels, and if I switched the receiver over to the Freesat one we could pick up another couple of hundred channels that aren’t on Astra. We are spoiled for choice, except that we aren’t really as the choice of content is 99.9% pure unadulterated shite.

I remember back in my cable days when the standard choice was about six channels. The company borrowed a portable satellite dish [a massive yoke that had to be towed around on its trailer] and the Technical Manager and I had a fine time messing with it. I remember saying that it was amazing the choice that was going to be available, and he replied with an amazingly accurate forecast – he said he reckoned that channels would just dumb down to the lowest common denominator and it would be the end of decent programmes. How right he was.

Scrolling down the channels I see “documentaries” about early teenage pregnancies that imply we’re going to see the kids screwing. There is one programme where women are asked to choose a dating partner when they just see the men’s pricks on screen. Equally men have to choose women on the basis of their tits. I nearly saw a “documentary” the other night about “dogging” and I actually watched a tiny bit of it but the televised view of an arse screwing some woman in the back of a car didn’t really appeal.

The result of this is that we have to make our own viewing by “borrowing” [*cough*] material from the Interwebs. Luckily there are tens of thousand of films and series out there and that makes up the bulk of our viewing. Last night, for example we tried out a new series that was being broadcast. We had seen it before but a) we had of course forgotten the story and b) it was filmed here in the village [yes, we are too fucking popular]. The problem with the programme was the ads. They were long breaks showing unbelievably bad screechy infantile advertisements and I spent my time hitting the mute button. So I nipped out my laptop, and in fifteen minutes we were not only seeing an ad-free programme, but I had the entire series so we didn’t have to wait a week for the next episode by which time we would have forgotten the plot

Yesterday I came across a news item. Apparently there had been 25,000 complaints about “Love Island”. Now this is another programme that plumbs the murky depths and I had never watched it. It basically consisted of a bunch of incredibly dumb males and females [we used to call ’em ‘pox bottles’] chasing sex and “celebrity” status. The contestants all seem to hang around in the skimpiest of swimwear and this is supposed to entertain us. I did watch five or so minutes just to see what the fuss was about and switched channels again as the programme is tediously boring. But apparently 25,000 people were incensed enough about a cheap tacky programme to complain about its content. why the fuck can’t they just switch channels? Why can’t they switch off the box and read a book?

Thank God for the Interwebs!

 

The Final Solution

Head Rambles Posted on by

I am getting rather tired of this Climate Change lark.

Every so often they come up with startling warnings about how the world is in imminent danger and we only have X number of days to save the planet.

Of course they always show us the world’s last remaining Polar Bear standing on what’s left of the North Pole.

The Last Bear

Now of course they could remove all road traffic from the world, but then how would we get around so easily?

A few cars

What about all those ships all pumping diesel fumes into the atmosphere? But if we banned them we wouldn’t have any goods.

A few ships

It has been suggested that we ban flying, but then how would the Skangers go on their holliers to Benidorm? They did actually try that a couple of times, once in America in late 2001 and again in Europe when that Icelandic volcano [with the unpronounceable name] burped, but neither had much effect on the climate.

A few planes

There is an answer. It is amazingly simple. Furthermore it costs nothing [none of those shitty taxes]. Everyone can do it and I can absolutely guarantee it will end all fear of climate catastrophe.

I estimate that this very simple technique will remove around 5 trillion litres of Carbon Dioxide from the atmosphere. Yes – 5 trillion, not 5 million or 5 billion but 5 trillion.

All you have to do is to stop breathing for ten minutes. It is that simple. If everyone on the planet does it we will reach the magic number. A plastic bag to place over your head is the only requirement, to prevent cheating.

I can guarantee you will never worry about the climate again.