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Everyone should read this

Head Rambles Posted on by

I find it deeply disheartening.

I go to the trouble of imparting my wisdom of the ages, day after day for your enlightenment and guidance.  Here is the voice of experience – the result of a lifetime of trial and error – and do you listen?

No.

I have discovered to my amazement that not everyone reads this site.  I would have thought that after three and a half years of writing shite invaluable wisdom, it would be the first port of call for everyone on the planet, but apparently not.  If you don’t read this site, then it’s your loss.  But then if you don’t read this site, then you won’t know I have told you that it’s your loss.  See now what you are missing?

A mere week ago I wrote about the dangers of over reliance on satellite navigation systems.  It was very sound piece, based on at lest five minutes research that was a salutary warning to all would be travellers.  Apparently there were some idiots out there who didn’t read the piece.

A television crew from Sky had to be rescued when their Sat Nav sent them through mountain passes and into a 4ft snow drift.

They ended up stuck in deep snow and tried to dig themselves out but ended up alerting gardai about 5pm. The mountain rescue team was called in and within an hour had located the Sky crew. It took two hours to rescue them.

You would think that a meeja crew would have the sense to read my site?  They, who couldn’t be arsed to read the definitive authority on all things life related call themselves media savvy?  Fucking idiots.  They should have been left there to freeze.

Now, if they had read my site, they would have known better than to rely on a SatNav to find their way through the mountains.

There again, if they had read my site, they would have known better than to ask directions from an old fella with a beard and pipe in the first place.

Heh!

 

Comments

Everyone should read this — 33 Comments

  2. Not only a SatNav but a feckin’ great satellite dish on the roof – and still they get stuck in a snow drift.  Fuckin’ eejits!  I warned ’em.

  5. TT – You should be ashamed of yourself!  No.  You don’t know her – she’s just a ‘friend’ not Herself].

    Mick – I sincerely hope you are not suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?

  6. When I first saw that item my first thought was that it was the same American couple who stranded themselves in our western mountains a few weeks back.

    Glad to see the shallow end of the gene pool is still distributed equitably….
    .-= Doc´s last brainfart .. Vatican Vetts WNBTv’s Film Picks! =-.

  8. Doc – Welcome back [Dad!].  You’ve been missed.  Our mountains are full of Americans who either made the mistake of asking directions, or using SatNavs.  Does anyone know a) how to read a map or b) use logic any more?

    RhodesTer – Button?  What button?

  9. HAHA, I don’t know if you’re serious Doc, or messing with an American, but a button is a closing line in a piece of writing. In humor (HUMOUR, sorry) most comedic film and television scenes, plus scenes in theatre need a good “button” as a character exits.

    Grandad’s button is – “There again, if they had read my site, they would have known better than to ask directions from an old fella with a beard and pipe in the first place.”

    It’s the punchline to the whole piece! Now he can exit the stage and after a good laugh from the audience, we all continue with our play.
    .-= rhodester´s last brainfart .. They Want.. =-.

  10. Ah!  I have never heard of a ‘button’ before [apart from the obvious].  I sometimes like to end on a cheerful note, so never realised I was sewing buttons.  And leave Doc alone.  He is my Dad [leastwise, he adopted me a couple of years ago – I have the certificate].

  12. …the only thing I know about buttons have to do with scraping the furry stuff off them before ingestion, else you will be ill.

    of course…you can’t find them in the mountains.

    glad to be back, Son. I had thought you might have taken the Euros garned on your book and re-retired to France permanently….
    .-= Doc´s last brainfart .. Vatican Vetts WNBTv’s Film Picks! =-.

  13. RhodesTer – You confused me.  It looked to me like you thought Doc asked about buttons?  I’m very protective towards my various fathers.

    Doc – I’m still searching, but as yet I haven’t found any decent French properties for under €5.

  14. RhodesTer –

    Question? I ain’t got no questions. I don’t need no questions! I don’t have to ask you any stinkin’ question!

    Son –

    Oooooh! €5? Careful…you may now have some gallic readers waiting to overcharge you for that remark on your next holiday.
    .-= Doc´s last brainfart .. Vatican Vetts WNBTv’s Film Picks! =-.

  16. Okay, now I’M confused. From earlier..

    RhodesTer – Button? What button? (Doc)

    Ya’ll can fuck off.
    .-= rhodester´s last brainfart .. They Want.. =-.

  17. …methinks RhodesTer has a touch of…of…oh…wait…it’ll come to me, you know, that thing where you can’t read or parse language properly…what IS is?…hmmmm…WAIT!!!! I remember: an American public school education!

    …

    naw, that’s not it. dang it.

    …

    ooooh oooh oooh! I remember now: dyslexia! that’s it!

    RhodesTer – go back and CAREFULLY re-read all the comments. I bet you can find your error…

    (You might need to start vetting you readers a little more carefully, Son: this one is a bit touchy…)
    .-= Doc´s last brainfart .. Vatican Vetts WNBTv’s Film Picks! =-.

  18. Re-read all of that? Took me a few hours to get through it the first time! No thanks. I only has a pubic american educashion.
    .-= rhodester´s last brainfart .. They Want.. =-.

  23. They pulled it.. too racy for them, if you can believe that shit. Posting it at xhamster.com as we speak.
    .-= rhodester´s last brainfart .. They Want.. =-.

  26. Nick – I’m sorry.  I couldn’t possibly.  This after all is a good clean child friendly site.

  28. See what I miss by not stopping in every day? Good thing I haven’t been anywhere besides the local store. Even a better thing that I don’t own a SatNav.

    Sounds like a good title for a post: “I never got lost until I owned a SatNav”.

    So when I finally make it to Ireland I’ll just do things the old fashioned way. Find my way around by the seat of my pants and ask for the occasional directions like:

    “I’m looking for this cantankerous old fart who lives up in the mountains of Wicklow county. He’s got this blog named “Head Mumbles” or something like that…ya’ seen ’em?

    Who needs SatNav? 😉
    .-= Kirk M´s last brainfart .. Writing something about writing something. =-.

  29. So the mountain rescue team actually saved a Sky news team them?

    Fuck..I was hoping for a happy ending.
    .-= Hangar Queen´s last brainfart .. Perspective =-.

  30. Hangar – I’m just hoping RTE were there filming the whole thing. It would have been a great chance for some blackmail?  Certainly, I would have left them there.  Their mummified bodies would have made an interesting exhibit in the Natural History Museum.

  32. Kirk M – I dunno how I missed your last post [not this last post, the last post before that].  When you come to Ireland, all you have to do is buy a map.  Ireland is well served for maps and they are rarely more than fifty years out of date.  Either that, or phone me and I’ll collect you.  We do have cars here.  What were you cantankerous about, or was it just a normal Thursday cantankerousness?

  33. Grandad – Thanks for the offering to collect me. Is that within a certain radius of the manor? I need to know how clse I need to get.

    And to be perfectly honest about it, I seem to be cantankerous most of the time these days.
    .-= Kirk M´s last brainfart .. Writing something about writing something. =-.

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