It has been a week of utter confusion and exhaustion.

I have no idea of what I have done in the past week, who I have spoken to or even where I was. It is all just a blur where events pile on top of each other in a mess of memories.

Naturally there have been hospital visits. They are a nightmare in themselves as it involves driving up to the city through countless traffic lights and then losing the car in the car park. The hospital itself is a warren of corridors and floors so I generally get lost in there too. The only good thing is that I have finally worked out the car park – ten or more levels where you enter on level 5 and the exits are on five or zero, but to get from one level to another involves a dizzying number of ramps that always go in the wrong direction.

I still haven’t a clue whats going on in the hospital. I only spoke to a doctor on the first visit when he asked me what our position was on DNR [Do Not Resuscitate] which sounded optimistic? Since then I hear mention of kidney failure, dialysis, x-rays, y-rays and z-rays, scans, gall-stones all of which lead me to believe that Herself was a sick puppy. There is no one to ask as the nurses are all too busy and there is never a doctor around. I haven’t a clue whats going on. Is she going to be there another week? Or a fortnight? Or a month?

And all this is having a terrible effect on poor Penny. She is utterly confused about her mistress being gone. At least she has stopped searching the house but is now not eating. She hasn’t had a full meal in a week and is losing weight rapidly.. I am all but force feeding her at this stage, But her muscle loss is worse now and she frequently collapses so I have to keep lifting her back onto her feet again [whereupon she collapses again]. It really is time for her last trip to the vet, but I can’t do that without letting Herself say a last farewell. So I have to keep the poor dog going at least until Herself gets back.

My nose saga continues as well. Whatever it is inside my nostrils continues to grow. The nose has swollen and turned red so I now look like one of those cartoon blokes on the old funny seaside postcards. And there are disgusting looking things hanging out of the nostrils looking like congealed snot. It is fucking painful, not just in the nose but in the face and eyes too. I’m on a constant diet of pain pills. Having been thrown out of A&E a while back I set on a quest to find someone else who would do the operation to remove the growths. I finally got through to the ENT section in the same A&E hospital. Yes, they assured me, of course I could make an appointment. No, they couldn’t operate on the day as the first appointment was purely for assessment. She then added as an afterthought that there is a nine month waiting list. Fuck!

The other evening I found a voice mail on my phone. It was the same hospital and could I please ring back. It was too late then so I phoned them first thing the next morning. A very cheerful sounding lass said that they had my notes from the infamous A&E visit and that they had a cancellation next Thursday. If I liked, I could have the operation then as they had all the details. If I liked? I grabbed the chance. At least something is panning out.

Now I have to go and change my bedding. Penny shat all over the bed last night.

Life is fun?