I’m a lumberjack and I’m not okay
Once again life has dealt me a tricky card.
One of my trees has fallen over. Or it may not. It may have just snapped half way up the trunk. Or it may just be leaning.
I first noticed the problem the other day when driving out of the lane. Where once there had been open sky there was now a huge lump of ivy overhanging the lane, low enough to brush the roof of the car. Fuck!
My first problem is that I can’t see exactly what’s at the heart of this lump as ivy tends to just tie itself into a mass of twisted trunks and that mass may or may not include a tree trunk. So I can’t tell if it’s just a lump of ivy or a lump containing a tree. The lump is a few feet across so your guess is as good as mine.
Another problem is that it’s near the entrance to the lane so if I sling a ladder up then I’m likely to be sent flying when a car turns into the lane and takes the ladder from under me. I don’t have any “men at work” signs. I do have one for “loose stones” that the County Council kindly left dumped in my ditch but that would just be confusing.
My next problem is that if I need a chainsaw then I am bunched, for today anyway. My chainsaw has lost its teeth [at least we have that in common]. I need a new chain but of course the shops are shut as it’s a fucking bank holiday.
I suppose I could order a delivery of something that involves a large lorry as that would hit the bunch of ivy and hopefully bring the lot down. But I don’t need anything [apart from a chain]. And anyway the bank holiday strikes again.
I think I’ll just wander down and stare at it. At least then the neighbours will know I’m aware of it. And maybe one will offer to help?
At least it has stopped raining.
Just going out on a limb here (heh,heh,heh), I’d say call the County Road department and they should remove the problem limb, and maybe the entire tree. As long as they are there, they can take their rock back with them when they are done.
Good grief! It’s hard enough getting them to admit they took charge of the lane. Potholes take an average of twelve months to fix.
Hire the job done and tell them to bill the county. Unless they have already dealt with the county, in which case they may tell you to piss off.
On the other hand, the county may pay up for the job but then assess your property at higher value and raise your property tax.