I see our Great and Glorious Mehole Martin, Teashop of this great land, may be in trouble.
I sincerely hope so anyway.
The news is out that he attended and Indoor Gathering during lockdown which is of course illegal under the strange and restrictive rules he himself laid down
Of course this may mean that he wasn’t there in person but was merely a hologram beamed in from his bunker in Merrion Street. I doubt that though. It’s far more likely that the Virus, in a hitherto undiscovered feature, doesn’t actually attack people if they are on “official business”. This is bad news for all those doctors and nurses who contracted the Virus in the past, but maybe they were infected during their tea break? It’s good news for the rest of us though. For example I can do what I like, as whatever I do can be classed as research for my scribbling, which of course is official business.
On another note there has been considerable disquiet in medical circles concerning the UK Variant, the Brazilian Variant and the South African Variant. Why, they ask, should these three get into the news all the time? It’s not fair, they cry. We want a mention too. Well, it looks like they may have discovered an Irish Variant. It will of course be 185% more deadly and a thousand times more infectious that any of the other piffling variants and should us firmly back centre stage. Don’t mess with a country that was a world leader in smoking bans and who won the Eurovision Song Contest more times than any country in history. We do things in style here.
In yet more news, I can officially announce that my meadow is now cut. The first time in a year, or in the case of one large swathe, two years. I told you I could do it, oh ye of little faith.