I am starting on a quest that may take some time.
It may even kill me. Who knows? There will be major obstacles to overcome and certainly a hell of a lot of hard work.
But the decision is made. I’m going to try to cut my lawn.
It was last cut well over a year ago. It has now graduated to the level of meadow and in some areas it’s just plain wild.
I phoned the Mower People. Would they be interested in getting my mower into a reasonable semblance of a functioning machine? They asked for photographs. I set up a little web page with a gallery of pictures and a list of things that were definitely wrong such as two flat tyres and a gaping hole where the metal had rusted away. They laughed. It wasn’t the pictures that amused them – it was the idea that I thought it would ever work again. That hurt.
I asked if they’d do a trade in. They laughed again and said they had enough useless junk but thanks for the offer. They then tried to sell me a machine for about two grand. It was my turn to laugh.
I decided to fix it myself.
The first problem is the wheels. The two front ones are flat and I know from experience that I could inflate them with a massive effort [they are tubeless] but that they would be flat again before I had even done one circuit of the meadow. I toyed with the idea of filling them with that expanding foam that builders use but decided in the end to fit inner tubes. I searched the Interwebs and found a shop that sells the right sizes so I ordered three, as one of the back tyres is a bit iffy at times. That cost me well under €40. They arrived yesterday.
Today I’m going to try to fit tubes in the front two wheels. I know from experience that this will involve a ton of swearing and sweat and not a small quantity of blood.
If I get the tubes fitted I come up against the next problem – the battery is fucked. I have it on charge since early this morning so there might be enough charge in it by this evening. I’ll buy a new battery on-line next week. They cost around €60.
The rust bit I will ignore. It means the blades are exposed but I never get off the mower when it’s running so my feet are safe. I hope.
Assuming the engine still works [I haven’t tried it yet] I will have to mow the meadow several times to get it to reasonable height. I’m also going to have to rake it each time which is a pain in the hole [but hopefully not a sharp pain in the chest].
So my useless heap of junk that wasn’t even worth floor space will be fixed for under €100.
Eat your heart out, Mower People.