Easter Resurrection
I am starting on a quest that may take some time.
It may even kill me. Who knows? There will be major obstacles to overcome and certainly a hell of a lot of hard work.
But the decision is made. I’m going to try to cut my lawn.
It was last cut well over a year ago. It has now graduated to the level of meadow and in some areas it’s just plain wild.
I phoned the Mower People. Would they be interested in getting my mower into a reasonable semblance of a functioning machine? They asked for photographs. I set up a little web page with a gallery of pictures and a list of things that were definitely wrong such as two flat tyres and a gaping hole where the metal had rusted away. They laughed. It wasn’t the pictures that amused them – it was the idea that I thought it would ever work again. That hurt.
I asked if they’d do a trade in. They laughed again and said they had enough useless junk but thanks for the offer. They then tried to sell me a machine for about two grand. It was my turn to laugh.
I decided to fix it myself.
The first problem is the wheels. The two front ones are flat and I know from experience that I could inflate them with a massive effort [they are tubeless] but that they would be flat again before I had even done one circuit of the meadow. I toyed with the idea of filling them with that expanding foam that builders use but decided in the end to fit inner tubes. I searched the Interwebs and found a shop that sells the right sizes so I ordered three, as one of the back tyres is a bit iffy at times. That cost me well under €40. They arrived yesterday.
Today I’m going to try to fit tubes in the front two wheels. I know from experience that this will involve a ton of swearing and sweat and not a small quantity of blood.
If I get the tubes fitted I come up against the next problem – the battery is fucked. I have it on charge since early this morning so there might be enough charge in it by this evening. I’ll buy a new battery on-line next week. They cost around €60.
The rust bit I will ignore. It means the blades are exposed but I never get off the mower when it’s running so my feet are safe. I hope.
Assuming the engine still works [I haven’t tried it yet] I will have to mow the meadow several times to get it to reasonable height. I’m also going to have to rake it each time which is a pain in the hole [but hopefully not a sharp pain in the chest].
So my useless heap of junk that wasn’t even worth floor space will be fixed for under €100.
Eat your heart out, Mower People.
I admire your optimism.
Happy Easter.
The wheels are fixed [it was a right bastard of a job]. Now I just have to get it started. It will start. I know it will……..
And many happy returns.
An optimistic is a pessimist without full recourse to the facts.
"Assuming the engine still works . . ." Should have proved that first, if it's knackered, you may have just wasted €100 on inner-tubes and a battery. Cart before horse-power, as some may say.
Of course it will work. Have you no faith? I don't expect it to start on the first attempt. After all it has been lying idle for well over a year.
So far I have only shelled out for the tubes so I'm only €40 down. If I can get it running with jump leads then I'll go for the battery.
We've all been lying pretty idle for the past year, maybe jump-leads would work for us too.
Not a bad idea. Where's my nearest defibrillator?
You could have gotten a few sheep in for a couple of days.
And then eaten them on Sunday?
Bloody hell. There is just her indoors, you, Penny and next doors cat. How much lamb could you knock back on the Sabbath?
You underestimate my capacities for throwing a barbecue party. There again, it will probably snow.
Must be a handy welder chappie about that can do something with the rust, access much easier than typical car welding needs.
My Hayter started second pull during the week, have faith.
I have more faith than the Pope himself. It'll work……
How good are you with fiberglass? I had an old Morris Minor that i fixed the gaping hole in the boot with a perfect application of f’glass and resin.
Genius!! I did a huge job on my first Mini using Isopon and perforated zinc sheeting. I had completely forgotten about that.
Bloody hell! I showed that pic to a landscape gardener mate, and he said your best plan would be to have it ploughed, have it harrowed a few times, then seed it. With regular mowing and rolling* you could have quite a decent bit of turf in 500 years time, he said.
*And watering, but I told him it was in Ireland.
That sounds like hard work. I don't do hard work. Anyway, I have neither plough nor harrow. I used to have a Merry Tiller but it disappeared sometime in the dim distant past.
If it’s a common machine you can buy a deck for €100-200, they’re easy to change and should take about an hour. As for the engine they’re always fine providing you keep oil in them. I’ve tidied a few ‘write offs’ including the one I bought ten years ago that still cuts my lawns to this day.
Now that the tyres are fixed, the only problem is that the battery doesn't hold its charge. It must be near forty years old so it must be due retirement. I'm not that pushed about the deck. I'll just make sure there are no Grandkids around when I'm mowing.