Beware the eyes of March
Something seems to be happening in the global Karma that drives random events around the planet.
It has decided that March is my Eyes Month.
I have an appointment this afternoon to have an HVF test in the ophthalmologist’s place, whatever HVF is. At a rough guess – Horizontal and Vertical Field test? I suspect it’s that tedious thing where I have to stare at a spot on a screen and then click a mouse when I see a faint flash somewhere else on the screen without moving my eye. I don’t like that test because it’s boring. It seems to go on for an age, and just when I’m on the verge of refusing to play any more they switch to the other eye and it starts all over again. Bugger! Anyways it means a trip to Dublin what I could do without.
I mentioned before how I was looking for a proper eye test as the old vision ain’t what it should be. The letter arrived from the HSE [I’m amazed – I thought everyone there was fighting Viruses or out sick?] so I phoned the opticians. I told them I had my Medical Card and the letter from the HSE. No problem, says they, come in next week. Fuck me! I thought they had a waiting list. The girl tried to sell me some extra tests [for a person of my age!] but I declined on the grounds that I was already being torn asunder by a bunch of ophthalmologists. This means a trip to Skobieville which by definition isn’t a pleasant experience.
I went to put my optician’s appointment into my phone calendar and noticed that I have yet another item marked for the future. I apparently have an appointment the week after next with the Head Honcho Ophthalmologist who is apparently going to assess all my tests and tell me what a wonderful chap I am. I hope that’s the response because I’m going to put my foot down and refuse any more of their testing. So this means yet another trip up to Dublin.
I wouldn’t mind but I can see quite well if I half close my eyes.
Things are only a little bit fuzzy.
The HVF test.
Crocodile clips are set on sensitive parts of your anatomy, and then connected to a variable voltage supply. The voltage is screwed up and up. If your eyes start watering you have passed the High Voltage Focussing test and nowt wrong with your eyes.
Good luck.
Eye, right.
You have obviously been a patient there yourself?
Your phone calendar?
What happens if you're hacked?
I am not worried about being hacked.
My phone is a different matter.
Grandad, you need to get checked to ensure that your eyesight is good enough for you to be driving because your car insurance could be invalid if you don't meet the Irish equivalent of the UK DVLA's criteria.
Don't worry John. The sight is just a little bit off to the point where I can't read very small text on a television on the other side of the room. It's a case of "I can see perfectly but I know I could see better". Anyhows, I have my proper eye-test on Thursday so there is little more I can do.