Last January [Grief! Was it that long ago?] I told the sad tale of the flood in the sitting room.
Well, it’s not exactly a sitting room as there may be a fireplace, a couch and an armchair in it but no one ever sits there. It’s more of a hallway that takes up half the house – a sort of Baronial Hall, which even has its own Minstrel Gallery and stairs up to said gallery.
Anyhows Herself has been bitching about the carpet ever since the place flooded. I maintained that it was now dry and that no one ever goes through the place except the two of us, but this wasn’t apparently acceptable. She insisted that it had to be replaced as there was a large area of black under one of the radiator valves and a huge area of stain under the other. I suppose she did have a point as the high-tide mark was clearly visible [apart from the few sea shells and a bit of old fishing net that had washed up in the flood].
Now getting a new carpet would involve quite a bit of work. I don’t like work. I would have had to go into Skobieville and get some samples of carpet for Herself to stamp with a seal of approval. Then I would have to go back in again to order the carpet and give the measurements, which of course would be wrong. Then I would have to shift all the furniture out of the room but there is nowhere to shift it to.
I decided on another course of action.
I bought a bottle of stuff that sprays foam onto a carpet stain. I locked herself in the attic so she wouldn’t see what I was doing [she hates being done out of buying stuff] and set to work on the two worst areas. It worked very well. I surprised even myself. The black area was now gone and the high tide mark was no longer visible. I let herself out of the attic and she grudgingly admitted that I had removed the stains. But then she pointed out that the areas where the stains had been were now cleaner than the rest of the carpet and we’d have to get a new one.
Not to be outdone I phoned Daughter to see if she still had a carpet cleaner. She does, but it only vacuums as the water spraying bit was broken. I borrowed it anyway.
I spent a happy day dismantling the machine. First remove two bits of the handle. Then disconnect the power cable [found the first fault there – the Live and Neutral wires were wrong way around which could have been damned dangerous?]. Then remove a couple of bolts. Then remove a whole load of wires trying to remember which one goes where. Then remove another four bolts and finally – there’s the water pump.
I removed it and discovered I could dismantle it further, which I did. As soon as I removed an end screw it sprung apart and a tiny spring thingy shot across the room. Fuck! I found it in the end. I cleaned it all out and started reassembling everything in reverse order. I couldn’t remember which wire went where, but what the hell. Odds were that I would get them reasonably correct. I was knackered by then so I left it.
Yesterday I decided to test my handiwork. I filled the reservoir with soap and water. I switched it on. Water shot out of the nozzle in a spectacular arc that reached to top of the windows. As daughter would say – yay!
The carpet is now as good as new. I did a load of upholstery too including my favourite armchair [which was getting a little grubby].
Herself is furious at not getting a new carpet.