Crediting Gertrude The Shredder — 6 Comments

  1. Internets you have failed me! Can’t I get even a ‘Wtf?!?!111?1 is this Shite  ?


  2. Whaat?  Well, I was about to say that this Universal Credit worries me.  I’ve always thought that our government got their orders from Mad Merkel and Drunk Juncker et al.  I never thought IDS could ever have dreamed it up by himself.  He was just following orders!  Like CallmeDave.  Boy, did he go down in my estimation.  But no, he was just another EU lackey and told IDS to implement benefit changes as outlined by them, with no consultation with us mere plebs.  As we’re far too thick to comprehend, you know… 

    Even though we are supposedly leaving the EU, they still seem to have a hold over us then.   What a surprise…



  3. Well, I sort of read it, and possibly misunderstood it.

    Is there any chance you could get a job? Even if not an ‘official’ job, some independent way of making money?

    Are your joint disabilities such that we have to carry you effectively till when ever? Personally, in your case I don’t mind that much, given that you are an engaging fellow. But even you should recognize that at some point money (and much more importantly future resources) simply run out.

    • Is there any chance you could get a job?


      Don’t tell anyone but there are times I do daydream about getting a different job to the one I have now- which by the way is, by my reckoning, the toughest job in the world (you get to go home at 17:00 or whenever, I don’t). Believe it or not I didn’t actually sign up to spend my days caring for a paranoid psychotic. Here an old blog post (sans the half naked photo of The Prettiest Girl In The Village What Became My Frau):


      Thank You- With Apologies To Alanis

      Thank you Zyprexa

      Thank you Mirtazapine

      Thank you Schizophrenia

      Thank you, thank you, psycho-pharmaceutical science.  



      for taking this:

      *half nekkid pic of very slim Frau*


       and making her BMI equal her age!


      Like it says in The Good Book ” What profit it a Woman if she attains chemical induced Nirvana but loses her figure?”…well it says something like that anyway and if it doesn’t it bloody well should. Yeah you guys saved her life but…


      [I found this picture of The Bestes Frau In The World yesterday while going though some old negs-NB was taken after she’d born three children and yet managed to keep her girly figure. Probably taken in ’93 when I was testing an old camera one sunny evening and at the time she could still travel half price on public transport.]



      But however you work it out, my old fashioned ideas about ‘in sickness and in health’ (to quote Alf Garnett “Bloody poorer that’s a fact!”) save the tax payer an absolute fortune. The cost of The Bestes Frau In The World being in an asylum make the paltry sums we get from the poor old tax payer pale into insignificance.  However that may all be moot as at this very moment we are battling with PIP and worst case scenario is I will have to go find gainful employment and The Bestes Frau will be section 3’d . I hate to think what a course of 10 electroshock treatments cost these days…

      As to an ‘independant way of making £’ I was running a quite successful micro business until last year (16-20k p.a. turnover kind of ‘successful’) but unfortunately Brexit and HMRC, ably assisted by some noddies in Poland,  combined to make it no longer viable. If I can identify another market opportunity, trust me, I will take it.

      (I hope that nothing I have just said sounded if I was in anyway narked with you, I’m not. The tone of my reply is genuinely friendly.)

  4. “4 weeks without any money simply because the DWP hadn’t updated our details”

    This agrees with what Tim Worstall has been saying about foodbanks – they are needed not because of poverty, but because what passes for Government in Blighty can’t organize the benefit payments that are due.

    • Uncannily enough during that £-less period we had to make use of a Food Bank !  The amount of food they gave us was breath taking. And even more gob smacking  was when they offered to top up our Electric and Gas ‘keys’ if we happened to be on pre-paid (which unfortunately we’re not). Both The Bestes Frau & I were raised in relative poverty and we could have made those 5 carrier bags of “3 days Emergency Food” have lasted a week if we’d  had to. Anyone raised under rationing or in real 3rd World style poverty could have made those too-heavy-for-me-to-carry-home 5 carrier bags last the better part of a month.

      I don’t know what Food Banks are like elsewhere but I think can safely say that no one in the yUK , in May’s Paradise, need starve.

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