My Muse is back!
Well, that’s not quite true actually – it’s ony SuperShadow, but any port in a storm as they say?
good evening Grandad
And a very Good Afternoon to you Sir.
I will explain why I am writing to you later in this email.
myself and other Jedi have been organizing safe zones, comfort basements and trauma tea houses all over Inglewood.
Right now I am in one of those trauma tea rooms. AS I look around I see a curious mix of Jedi, Social
Justice enablers and Climate change activists. No one is talking. No one is smiling.
Most have their heads down and those who haven’t are weeping.
No one here can come to terms with the fact that a testosterone driven misogynist is running this country. The Russian threat is everywhere, spreading their fake news. I wont even take money from the cash dispenser for fear the Russians will hack my account.
Safe zones? You have to be kidding me? I thought the Jedi were all powerful Masters of the Universe, but they need Safe Zones? I have called you lot many things in the past, some of them somewhat crude and some straight from the Dumpy Book of Psychiatry but I never would have classed you as a snowflake? I am truly disappointed.
With all the surreal happenings of the last month its impossible to know which Blog is a Russian-fake news site. Which brings me to your website. Your site has been spouting fake news with regards to smoking and climate change for years. How do we know you are who you say you are? Can you prove you are not Russian backed fake news site? After all Putin is a smart man.
My musings on smoking and so called climate change are mostly based on logic and experience and I don’t know how the Russians could influence either of those?
But here is the interesting point – How can I prove I’m not Russian, or at the very least Russian backed?
Well, for a start you are asking me to prove a negative which is a smart move on your part. I asked Herself if I was Russian and she said the only time she ever saw me rushin’ was when I had a dose of the trots, so that doesn’t help? I could always prove I’m Irish by using a standard Irish tactic – answer every question with a question – why would the Russians back the musings of an auld fella up the Wicklow Mountains? Surely they would pick someone in a position of power and influence? Trump for example?
Lets deal with the facts:
Okay. I’m fine with that.
You claim your this retiring grandfather living in rural south of Ireland. You spend your time drinking dark alcohol, smoking a pipe, waylaying tourists and other inappropriate behaviors.
Yup. That sounds like me all right.
Outside of what you write on your blog can you prove who you say you are? There is a picture of (Presumably) Irish mountains at the top of your page, and I’m sure your IP address would indicate where you are but this can be faked. That youtube video with you smoking your pipe could easily have been dubbed with an Irish accent. It could easily have been filmed in Siberia with a bearded man to make it look ‘Irish’.
Indeed my little picture is the Wicklow Mountains, or a little bit of them at least. If I remember correctly, that’s the Glen of Imaal up there, just around the corner from my place. A lovely quiet spot.
My YouTube video? Wow! You have been doing your research! That was ages ago. And it was only a short thing of me playing with my pipe [if you’ll pardon the expression] so I doubt the Russians would bother to dub that into anything. I take it you missed the CapitalD video? That was me in full flow and it was filmed by an Irish television company and aired on Irish television, so if they are both under the control of Russia …… ?
Incidentally one other in that CapitalD programme was my good friend Ian Poulton who is a Canon [not a cannon] in the Church of Ireland. We meet regularly so would you take the word of an esteemed and respectable member of higher society if he confirms that I am indeed Irish and that we meet up regularly but not in Moscow? Or is he Russian as well?
And then theres the whole website thing. You wax lyrical about your PHP knowledge and WordPress skills.
You exaggerate there a bit. I know a bit about PHP and WordPress to the extent that I know my way around, but I hardy wax lyrical? Maybe I just sound like I have a great expertise to someone who knows fuck all about either?
Incidently the WordPress root directory has an executable that can be triggered by certain username/password combination which gives admin access to an outsider – only 47 people in the whole world know the password including yours truly. But I digress
Indeed you are correct. There is a file there which is very cleverly hidden behind an alias to confuse outsiders who might be trying to log in. It’s called “login.php”. There. The secret is out. I can assure you that there is no “back door” though and the only people who can log into my site are myself and Putin.
Anyway hardly the occupation of a retiring rural grandfather.
Shit! Fuck! You’re right. I’m old so I should know nothing about technology and should confine myself to sitting staring into the fire and ripping off the odd fart.
Lord Bruticus took a package tour to Ireland some years back and visited all the castles in the south of the country. He informs me its mostly an agricultural country- the women being employed in the castles to host banquets.
Hah! He’s pulling your leg. He only visited one and that was Blarney. A grand tourist trap.
The jedi condemn all free speech that hurts other peoples feelings. Trump will destroy the world.
Free speech can only offend those who choose to be offended. Man up.
You are quite possibly be right about Trump, but I doubt he will last long. Either an Impeachment or an Assassin will get to him first.
Remember the Mirader were machine like gods who searched the universe unsuccessfully to find their creator. The Mirader concluded they were their own creators, in a sense a sort of subjective cyclical repeating rebirth ∞. Since they cannot die they simply twiddle their proverbial thumbs in the cosmos . A sort of penrose staircase existence:
What has this got to trump you may ask?
So the Mirander have discovered that they are in fact God and their own creators? Sounds a tad incestuous but along the same lines of “mad made God in his own image and likeness”? Fair enough.
Just Imagine you are sitting at home grandad, smoking your pipe, relaxing. A fly is buzzing around nearby. you get irritated and swat the fly dead.- I think you would agree had the fly simply rested on the wall he would be alive to continue living its short life.
The chances of that happening are slim as Penny would get there first, so blame her, not me. Just as a matter of personal interest, have you been reading The Foggy Mirror lately?
Everything that happens here on earth echoes through the universe as waves. Now imagine a giant climate change event disturbing those that should not be disturbed.
The Mirader will destroy humanity simply to avoid being ‘Bored to Death’
So in conclusion – Trump must be stopped.
Be fair now. I think the one thing that all Mankind can agree on is that Trump is anything but boring?
Either way I think I am calling you out finally. It will be interesting to see if you can prove who you say you are.
Can you prove that I exist at all? Maybe I am just a blip in your fevered imagination? Maybe I am the invention of the last rational little corner of your brain, frantically trying to convince you that the rest of your brain is wrong? Maybe I am the last vestige of sanity?
I know who I am but I’m not sure you know who you are?
Supershadow (Mickey Suttle) “The worlds number one Star Wars fan”
But there’s more…..
PS I have cc’d 2 other so called ‘Bloggers’ whom we suspect as being a fake news russian fronts
Hmm. I’m not sure what Jedrzej will make of that. For a start, he is a photographer [and an excellent one at that] so quite how he is subverting the world, I don’t know. Maybe you came across his name and assumed he is Russian? I can set your mind at rest there – he’s Polish.
I did get a What The Fuck email from Darragh, and I confess I had difficulty in explaining what it’s all about. Nevertheless I can assure you he is as Irish as they come, and he can assure you that I exist as we have met a few times and he has even visited me in my lofty perch in the mountains.
I can’t guarantee that he isn’t in the pay of Putin though.