Graphing a Mojo
I always though a Mojo was just a sort of throwaway expression – a sort of street-cred version of a Muse.
According to the Cambridge English Dictionary however, Mojo is “a quality that attracts people to you and makes you successful and full of energy“. I didn’t know that it’s actually a “quality” rather than just a “non-thing”, but that’s neither here nor there.
One thing I did discover today is that it is actually quantifiable and is actually quite visible. I discovered this when I was messing around looking at the numbers and dials for this site. I saw a graph of visitors over the last three months.
Now correct me if I am wrong but there is a definite shift in gears about a third of the way through January? Actually, I can specify the exact date – the 10th. I know it was the 10th as I remember the day [surprisingly enough] when I felt I had walked through an invisible door into a slightly different dimension.
I didn’t know exactly what it was at the time. The following day I scribbled about being plagued by the Black Dog, but in retrospect I think it was just my Mojo vanishing. And what is quite remarkable is how it clearly shows up on the graph?
Around a week later, and still long before I realised what had happened, I wrote that I was thinking of taking a break. Reading back on that scribble, and reading between the lines I think that was when I began to realise that my Mojo might be the cause of the problem. The fucking thing had just vanished. I don’t know where it went or why. Was it something to do with Donald Duck’s election? Is there any connection with Brexit and Article 50? Maybe the dog took it to play with and forgot to tell me?
If there is anyone out there who might have seen it wandering around, could you please get in touch? I’m quite willing to pay for the postage and packaging though I’m not quite sure how one parcels up a Mojo. I really am quite lost without it.
In the meantime, I will keep a very close eye on that graph to see if there is any sign it’s coming back.
Look GD no one can live forever, even in your wildest whiskey dreams. I hope you can keep going for a few more years. Don’t look at the statistics, just enjoy the now, as we do. Take a glass or two and the mojo will come flooding back. All you need is a stiff dose of the hard stuff and a just cause to rail against – shouldn’t be short of subjects there. Sorry I can’t post any spare mojo right now, but I need all I have to keep going.
“no one can live forever” Shit! They never told me.
I don’t normally bother with statistics and just happened to be poking around. There are all sorts of fancy graphs and tables and stuff back there but I never realised before that there was actually a Mojo Graph.
And a glass or two sounds like an excellent idea…….
Of course, if you give up smoking, then you are guaranteed to live forever.
Experts have said.
However, if you take that course of action, then you can kiss goodbye to the mojo. It will never return. Mojos don’t like people who don’t enjoy life.
Tricky decision, eh?
Mojos have a mind of their own. I would imagine that yours has just taken a short break in the Bahamas, and will be back soon, when it’s sated with the rum and coconut cocktails there.
I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you.
“Of course, if you give up smoking, then you are guaranteed to live forever.” No I wouldn’t. It would just feel like forever.
“I got my mojo working” were the opening words in a blues number released in the 1950s. The wikipedia entry says that ” A mojo is an amulet or talisman associated with hoodoo, an early African-American folk-magic belief system.” Maybe mojo best operates in sunny months and January in Ireland is the pits.
If you want the depressing late January seismograph to oscillate rapidly upwards again, just start posting pieces with radical eye-catching titles like Sex and the Pipe-smoking Sixtysomethings and How to Sue the Britches off Antismoking Health Campaigners.
I would fully agree that the weather has a possible effect. It’s pissing down out of a grey sky here all day.
It’s all very well posting flashy titles but if I don’t have something to put under them? I grant you I did have remarkable success with my post Kate Middleton–a topless photo so maybe I should write something about Beyoncee or whatever her name is?
Pfft. You’re looking at the graph upside down. Temporarily, your mojo went a bit limp in November. It’s back on the up and up. (Positive Thinking!)
I refuse to stand on my head just to please people. I do have standards, though you may not think it.
Have you thought Mojo dips might be contagious and its others experiencing Mojo dips that have infected you through the pooter screen? Maybe wearing a surgical mask and gloves whilst at the keyboard is the answer? It might not help you but it would give us a laugh trying to picture you in the attire! 😀
That only works if you’re also wearing budgie smugglers and a pair of cowboy boots.
Be sure to post a photo, GD. Just so we know you’re doing it right.
Muddy Waters – I got my mojo working – possibly a 1976 version.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuwbKakPRRI
Yup. I remember that. In fact I was humming it to myself while clicking on the link.
In t’eighties (me twenties decade) we used to eat mojo’s.
http://www.oemsie.com/lists/15-delicious-80s-sweets/
and chocolate ciggies.
Ah!! The old sweet ciggies! I don’t know why they stopped making them. The liquorice pipes were nice too.
Don’t worry – it’s just gone into winter hibernation. It’ll be back soon.
See you next May, so……………………
You may, for whatever reason been penalized by Google grandad, one of my sites did and they can penalize you for a whole host of reason, mine was an advertiser that I had added to the website called Bidvertizer.
Another explanation could be that you had a link posted out there somewhere that was bringing you lots of traffic and for whatever reason the link has been removed/page deleted/website closed down/etc. etc. etc.
Sign up to Google Webmaster Tools https://www.google.com/webmasters/tools/home?hl=en
Then add your website, there’s quite a bit of stuff you can do in there but more importantly it will let you know if your blog is breaching any rules. 🙂
An interesting theory but I have checked and there is nowt wrong with Google traffic [not that I get much anyway]. Search engine traffic is constant all along. Equally I’m not aware of any missing links.
No, the dip is down to fewer visitors who obviously realised before I did that the site was going to the dogs. Most arrive from other sites, from bookmarks/feeds and even a few from Twitter.
Ah I see, well don’t give up buddy I’m sure they’ll come back. Most of us come here as we enjoy your ramblings. 🙂
I think your Mojo is out wandering around in dismay with a lot of others and yes it has everything to do with the duck. We are walking around like zombies over here.