I see our beloved lords friends and masters in the EU are at it again.
They are apparently drafting a law that demands that I insure my lawnmower!
Under normal circumstances I would take this as a joke – a bit of whimsey conjured up to give us a laugh to brighten the dark days of winter – but no, it seems they are serious.
Now my lawnmower remains locked up for the winter. Come summer, it trundles out every week or fortnight and we do a few laps of the lawn. It must clock up at least a mile in the summer months before going back into hibernation again. I rarely if ever cut the grass when there is someone else is present. The only chance of an accident is if I drive it into the lake which would be my own damn fault. So why the fuck should I insure it?
So some cunt in Slovenia has an accident and I have to pay insurance as a result? I’m not even sure I know where Slovenia is, yet one bloke falling off a ladder imposes yet more incredibly stupid laws on us?
So are they going to run spot checks on all gardens in the EU? Are they going to impose speed limits on lawnmowers? Can I expect to find the local constabulary hiding behind the sundial with a speed radar gun? Will there be new laws where I can be arrested for cutting the grass while over the legal limit of alcohol? Will they ban smoking on a lawnmower if there is a child in the garden?
The EU has come up with some crazy things in the past but this really is entering into an alternative reality. It is far beyond crazy. It is well past insane. It is precisely what I have come to expect from a bunch of overpaid bureaucrats sitting in an isolated office somewhere in Brussels, dreaming up insane laws to try to justify their existence.
Am I going to take out insurance on my lawnmower?