I do my best to keep up with the times.
Some things such as my mobile phone though have me nearly bet.
A while ago, I started to have problems with it. I couldn’t charge it. It wasn’t that the phone was broken or anything, just that I couldn’t plug that fiddly power plug into it. No matter how hard I pressed, the plug just wouldn’t go into the socket. I reckoned there might be a bent pin or something, but if I pushed the plug in as far as it would go, it would just about work, provided it wasn’t touched and provided no one walked near it. The slightest movement and the plug would fall out again.
I was pondering this little problem one night while Herself watched the television when I noticed something – there seemed to be something stuck in the socket. Maybe this was what was causing the problem?
The socket is tiny – one of those micro-whatsits – so I attacked it with a pin. Sure enough, some stuff was jammed in there. Combining ferocious dexterity with a lot of blowing I managed to clear the stuff out. The plug now fitted perfectly once more.
Now when I am travelling, I tent to shove the phone in my shirt pocket. And I always put it in the right way up because that’s the sort of logical thing to do? The problem was that the little power socket was at the bottom so it tended to come to rest in whatever dust, fluff or other bits of crud that happen to be in that pocket. So now I have to invert the phone every time I put it in my pocket. I wonder why the designers never thought of this problem? Idiots!
But my troubles weren’t over.
I had another problem.
I now had a nicely charged phone but I couldn’t receive calls on it.
There is nothing wrong with the phone as such. It would ring away merrily playing the little unique tune I had inserted into it, but I couldn’t answer it. You see it’s a modern phone, and to answer it I have to tap the corner of the screen. But when a call comes in, a piece of security software throws up a little window asking me if I know who is calling and do I want to save the call. But the little window pops up right over the Answer thingy so I can’t access it. Five gold stars to the fucking genius who designed that little piece of ingenuity.
I have removed the security software. It was a right pain in the hole anyway as it was constantly nagging me about stuff that was running and that it was three whole days since I had run it, or whatever.
I now have a fully functional mobile phone. I can now answer it without a fight or a curse.
Not that it matters much.
I very rarely use the thing anyway.