I saw a few passing references to the IQos yesterday.
Or is it the IQOS? Or the Iqos? Or even the iQos? No matter. It’s the yoke that Philip Morris has produced that is a sort of half way between a fag and an electrofag. It’s a sort of lukewarmfag.
Even Herself had heard about it on the radio and was showing a mild interest. Can we buy one to try, says she. I looked it up and yes – there it is on Amazon. £150 but they don’t deliver to Ireland. Thank God thinks I, the pension is safe for a while.
Anyways it piqued my interest, so I pooked around for a bit of further information. It transpires that it’s a sort of electrofag, but instead of sticking nicotine juice in it, you stick what looks like an ordinary fag in instead. So the device just replaces the burning bit with a hot bit. Grand.
So how is this going to be received by the Great Unwashed? Are those who don’t like electrofags and who have been brainwashed into thinking that ordinary fags are more dangerous that liquid Nitroglycerine going to welcome the device with open arms? Frankly that’s irrelevant. You see, the devices have to get past the Nannies, the Prohibitionists, the Puritans and the Anti-Smokers first.
There is going to be fucking war.
One one side of the battlefield there will be Philip Morris [who have invested millions] backed up by the Plain Man. There’s a lot of money there so that’s a formidable army. Add to the fact that they have a head start and the devices are already Out There and it’s far easier to beat a foe when it’s nicely corralled and not ambushing from all sides.
On the other side we have the Nannies, the Prohibitionists, the Puritans, the Anti-Smokers, Big Pharma and no doubt the gubmints.
The Anti-Smokers are just going to use their single battle cry of “Big Tobacco”. Of course Philip Morris could accidentally [or otherwise] come up with a pill that cures every know disease on the face of the planet and save mankind from itself, but the Anti-Smokers would still cry “Big Tobacco” because underneath it all, they are just a bunch of fanatical brainless morons with single track minds.
The Prohibitionists and the Puritans are just going to scream that the new devices contain Nicotine which as we all know is more deadly than Cocaine laced with rat poison.
The gubmints are going to back this side of the field as they won’t want to lose revenue from tobacco excise.
And of course on that side you will also find Big Pharma who will see the new device cutting even further into the billions they make from useless patches and gum.
I can see interesting times ahead.