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Fixing the unfixable — 6 Comments

  1. Been there, done that, replaced the battery in my Pom-Pom SatanicNav- living in (ok, 'survivng' in) Norfuck means knowing that 'you have reached your destination' means you are actually parked in the middle of a sugar beet field and you need to find the nearest moss covered tree to navigate further. 

    Ok so there are large chunks of Norfolk with no GPS reception, along with no cell phone reception…hell some of the smaller villages are still waiting to be connected to his Britannic Majesty's Optical Telegraph network so they might finally get news from Crimea…but WHY then do the RAF insist on flying those Fuck-Off-&-Be-Vapourised Apache thingys all over the place? Do they fly by sextant?!?!

    Back on topic sorta; I really wish I could solder…paying for new laptop batteries always pisses me off when I know that I could get the cells off Ebay for pennies.

     

     

    • Surely satellite reception is available everywhere [unless there's a roof over Norfolk]?  Mobile phone reception isn't too bad up here, provided you either go into the attic bedroom or out on the roof.  Broadband is reasonable too as it's wireless, but I am soon going to lose it as the trees across the road are growing up into the signal path.   I'm going to have to do something drastic about that.

      Did you ever think of investing in a soldering iron?  They're handy yokes to have around.

      • “[unless there’s a roof over Norfolk]?”

        If there is then it will be fashioned out of wattle & daub, Norfolkers not having truck with them there new fangled ‘slate’ thingys.

        "Did you ever think of investing in a soldering iron? "

        The problem isn't not having the tool but the tool behind the tool. I can do myself enough damage just brushing my teeth without wanting to handle something that any sane person would solely use to light cigarettes with.

        • Where's your spirit of adventure?  Live dangerously!  You may wreck a few laptops but you'll have fun doing it?

        • The Blocked dwarf,

          From The Daily Mash some years ago for your entertainment;

          Humans in East Anglia may have been using tools as early as just before the Second World War, it has emerged.

          It had been believed that technology was first used in the remote region in 1994, when a local man picked up a stick and used it to attack a tree.

          But archeologists have uncovered several items which they believe will lead to a radical rewriting of Norfolk history to be read by people who are not from Norfolk.

          Among the dramatic finds were a spoon, a box of half-eaten crayons and a device which experts believe was used for putting make-up on a cow.

          Meanwhile a Bakelite radio dating from the late 1930's has also been discovered in a shed near Saxthorpe, where it is still worshiped by local tribes as a prophet.

          Wayne Hayes, a hedgehog wrangler from Corpusty, said: "Old Talky has been round these parts since before the time of memory. It's inhabited by the magical Archer family and their tales from the future."

          Other artifacts included an unread PG Wodehouse novel and shards of broken pottery that seem to indicate early Norfolk Man had tremendous difficulty in coordinating his three-fingered hands.

          Archeologist, Tom Logan, said: "Local folklore tells of a creature called 'Ali' that brought humans to Norfolk, though we think it probably means the A11.

          "Nobody knows what drove early Norfolk Man so far East but one theory involves a strong desire to be as far away from Essex as possible without having to live in the sea."

  2. Why do you need a soldering iron?  I once repaired a set of headphones with nothing more than a disposable fag lighter and a tiny bit of multi-core solder! Granted, I didn't need reading glasses back then…

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