I had to go out this morning.
My destination was a house in an area of the suburbs that I had never been in before.
It's at times like this that the old SatNav comes in handy, so I carefully entered the address last night and it not only gave me the route but told me the time it would take to get there. Brilliant!
I went out to the car this morning and plugged the SatNav in and the fucking thing refused to start up. It kept moaning that the battery was low, but seeing as it was plugged into the car, I didn't believe it. The little shit had let me down, the one time I needed it.
I had to dash back into the house, fire up the laptop and run Google Earth. I tapped in the address and there it was, bang in the middle of an enormous housing estate.
The problem was that I now had to memorise the route, and seeing as I was short on time I had to do it quickly. And for those of you unfamiliar with Ireland, they have a great fondness for building vast estates with twisty roads and dozens of cul-de-sacs and junctions, and invariably you have to run the gamut of another estate before you get to the one you are looking for. Road signs? Forget it. Road names? That would make things too easy. The estate I was looking for only had a name for the entire estate and you had to work out the numbers for yourself [and they rarely run in sequence].
So I took about a minute [which was all the time I had] to memorise the route [second on the right, fifth left, third exit at the roundabout, forth left and then keep right until the road stops]. Cursing quietly to myself [and to anyone within a fifty yard radius] I hit the road.
To my amazement, I arrived at the destination and bang on time without any three point turns. I don't quite know now how I did it, as my memory isn't that hectic these days. So I did my business there and went back to the car.
I switched on the ignition. "Where would you like to go?" asks the SatNav in its usual cheerful voice. I said something about why the fuck it couldn't behave itself and why did it have to sulk just when I needed it and what the fuck game did it think it was playing. It protested that it didn't understand, which is probably just as well. "I just want to go home!" I yelled at it. "Calculating route to Home" it said in that smug little voice.
Sometimes technology can be really fucking irritating.