It was only a matter of time.
Now it is alcohol.
Now those innocents amongst you will say that that is a trivial thing? Just an extra number on the label? But read on and you will see five new items for us to read while we down our favourite beer or wine.
Calorie counts, the amount of pure alcohol, a website address [are beer bottles connected to the Interweb?], warnings about drinking while pregnant and warnings of the dangers of alcohol. Now that is quite a lot of shit to stick on a bottle unless they use a tiny font, which they won't.
Again, the naive will say that it's just a bit of print that is easily ignored. Those of us with experience of the Anti-Smoker Crusade know different.
You see, those little bits of gubmint propaganda aren't going to have any effect on alcohol consumption, so they are going to insist that the warnings are made more prominent. And then the lurid images will start appearing – blood gushing out of a crashed car, festering livers and women giving birth to cloven hoofed babies with cat's eyes. I suppose we can also look forward to "standardised" bottles and cans too?
Of course drinkers are different from smokers. Your average pub-goer will order draught beer or stout or a class of spirits, so they never get to see the container. Presumably all glasses will then have to be stamped with warning labels? And seeing as how each beverage has different characteristics, they'll have to have special glasses for each spirit or beer?
So what else can we look forward to? Adding colour to all alcohol so that it looks like mud? Pint glasses cast in the shape of coffins? Massive tax hikes of course [that goes without saying]. All bottles to be hidden from view in pubs and supermarkets? Banning half-pint glasses as they only encourage children to drink? All advertising and sponsorship to be outlawed?
They haven't invented second hand alcohol yet, but they will. All it takes is some research, and plenty of it.
Time to dust off the still and the beer making kit.
Let the fun begin.