I have been following this drug business for the last few days.
At first there was some confusion as to whether they were going to legalise marijuana, heroin and cocaine or decriminalise them. There are some important differences.
It appears now they are going down the decriminalise route which, on the face of it sounds grand. I had lovely mental images of people wandering around the streets in a beautiful blue haze and smiling inanely at everyone, lampposts and every other thing they encountered. When you're on a high, who gives a shit?
They seemed to have a different idea of "decriminalise" from my definition though.
Smoking a toke will be the equivalent of a traffic offence, for fucks sake! I suppose there is a twisted logic there – if you're having a good trip then traffic laws should apply?
From what I can gather, drugs will still be illegal but will be decriminalised which really makes a lot of sense. You can't buy or sell 'em and you can't grow your own but if you do miraculously find some materialising in your tobacco pouch you can smoke the stuff and will just get a slap on the wrist.
Actually you don't get a slap on the wrist. You get hauled up before a "dissuasion committee", whatever the fuck that is.
Under the proposals to be unveiled on Thursday, people caught with small quantities of drugs would be referred to dissuasion committees made up for addiction and mental health professionals as well as social workers.
I presume they mean "made up of" but that's beside the point.
So I am brought up before this committee and have to listen to them drone on about the incredible damage to my health, how I am wrecking my job prospects and how I can only look forward to life in the gutter and an imminent death, blah, blah, blah. I let them drone on for a while about how incredibly misguided I am and will then reply. I will tell 'em I'm a grown man of reasonable intelligence, that I have read and discounted all their horror stories and that there is nothing like a big fat doobie to relax and take away the twinges of pain that come with old age. I'll tell 'em that as an adult in my mid sixties, what I do, how I do it and where I do it is none of their fucking business and I don't give a flying fuck what the law says. Finally I will suggest that they all light up and chill out a bit. They probably won't thank me for that but then the truth often hurts.
If I were in charge, I think I would take a slightly different approach.
I would give the old Mary Jane out for nothing to anyone and everyone who wants it. Let the entire country get high.
If the entire country is permanently stoned, then nothing else matters.