I have been rationed.
Our Glorious Leaders in their infinite wisdom have decided to allocate 30,000 litres of free water for each household. Of course I whipped out my trusty calculator, and working on the basis that there are two of us in the household, that comes to 15,000 litres each. I'm quite good at maths.
That should be no problem.
Herself is one of those who goes for bottled water [which I think tastes revolting] so I should be able to grab some of her allocation of tap water. Now I use tap water [which tastes revolting] for making a mug of tea [or ten] but I doubt I drink 44 litres a day so that should be fine.
We don't use much water here. I can cut my showers from once a month down to once a year and the jax surely doesn't need to be flushed every time? I can always take to pissing in the garden which doesn't need any flushing whatsoever. Herself can revert to washing our clothes in the stream across the road as she used to before I spoiled her by buying a washing machine.
Of course all the above is purely academic. They installed my meter out on the lane. One half of it is presumably connected to the water main and the other side is connected to… well, nothing. They can bitch at me to connect it but they can fuck off. The only way they can get that done is to a) pay for it and do it themselves and b) do it without digging up any of my garden. I already have a connection to the main, and only I know where it is and it certainly isn't connected via a stopcock out on the lane so they have fuck all method of switching me off. The only way they could conceivably cut me off is to do so at the mains stopcock in my garden and to access that they would have to trespass. Our gubmint passed one of their laws saying I am entitled to use force against trespassers so that's OK.
Of course all the above poses a problem. On the face of it, I won't have to pay any water charges at all and this places me in a very awkward position.
How the fuck can I refuse to pay a bill of €0.00 ?