I'm just back from visiting my poor laptop in hospital.
They are going to give it a series of CAT scans, MRSI scans and probably a dose of MRSA. The poor thing's spirits are very low, but I think the grapes may have cheered it up a bit.
On the way back, I had the radio on. Normally I play CDs but I forgot to bring anyway so I was stuck with a station pumping out that thumping crap they call modern music.
In between thumping earaches the announcer suddenly got all breathless –
"Is Jennifer Anniston pregnant? The whole world is abuzz with the question!"
What the fuck?
Now I have written before about Ms Aniston, so it may come as no surprise that I think she is a complete, total and utter nonentity who can't act for nuts and isn't even that good looking [they’d probably find horse DNA in her too?].
So could someone please tell me why I, or anyone else for that matter should give a flying fuck whether she is pregnant or not? If she had invented cold fusion or had assassinated Van Rompuy I would say fair play to the lass, but getting fucking pregnant? Jayzus! I would be more excited if I heard that Ishtar Baltasar in Syria is pregnant and I don't even know if she exists.
Is this really what is at the forefront of the minds of modern yoof? Are they so fucking brain-dead that this is all they worry about?
We're all fucked.