Every now and then I receive mails offering to send me things, or inviting me somewhere.
One of those plopped into my mailbox yesterday.
Walt Disney invited me to the opening of a new shop.
There are so many things wrong with this that I don’t know where to start.
However, I will have a go.
For a start, Walt Disney is dead. He died a long time ago and I am not in the habit of corresponding with the Afterlife.
The next point is that whoever actually wrote me the mail obviously hasn’t bothered to read any of my ramblings, otherwise they would know that I HATE SHOPPING and I HATE THE CITY. Combine those two and throw in a mob of moronic children and you have neatly described my idea of Hell on Earth. The only thing I can think of that conceivably could be worse is a trip to Disneyland.
The mail they send me was full of puke inducing words such as ‘magic’ and ‘magical experience’. How shopping in a place full of kids is supposed to be a magical experience is beyond me.
There was one line that caught my attention though. “A special appearance by Tinker Bell, spreading her magical pixie dust”. I was almost tempted by that. The chance of a quick shag and a snort of the good stuff? It still wasn’t enough to entice me in though.
I wonder what the pushers down on Eden Quay will make of the competition?