Disney enters the drugs market
Every now and then I receive mails offering to send me things, or inviting me somewhere.
One of those plopped into my mailbox yesterday.
Walt Disney invited me to the opening of a new shop.
There are so many things wrong with this that I don’t know where to start.
However, I will have a go.
For a start, Walt Disney is dead. He died a long time ago and I am not in the habit of corresponding with the Afterlife.
The next point is that whoever actually wrote me the mail obviously hasn’t bothered to read any of my ramblings, otherwise they would know that I HATE SHOPPING and I HATE THE CITY. Combine those two and throw in a mob of moronic children and you have neatly described my idea of Hell on Earth. The only thing I can think of that conceivably could be worse is a trip to Disneyland.
The mail they send me was full of puke inducing words such as ‘magic’ and ‘magical experience’. How shopping in a place full of kids is supposed to be a magical experience is beyond me.
There was one line that caught my attention though. “A special appearance by Tinker Bell, spreading her magical pixie dust”. I was almost tempted by that. The chance of a quick shag and a snort of the good stuff? It still wasn’t enough to entice me in though.
I wonder what the pushers down on Eden Quay will make of the competition?
The pushers down Eden Quay are too Goofey to sell Mickey Mouse yokes. They all look like they came from Pluto.
Now Tinker Bell, especially if she’s in the guise of Julia Roberts can spread her fairy dust all over my Captain Hook any time. I’d giver her a right Peter Pan in the Neverland too. Anyway her fairy dust is feckin’ great, better then Red Bull. You don’t even need the wings to fly.
If Grandad can post the invite info we might be able to get some.
shopping in a place full of kids- Michael Jackson would have just loved that.
Slab – They didn’t pay me so I’m damned if I am going to advertise their shop. Anyway the Grand Opening is over an done now, though they promise to have a Grand Opening every fucking day now.
Mossy – Jayzus but he would have bought the entire shop!
Ah Scheiße, I’ll just have to keep googling Tinker Bell (Julia). googling, gooooglinggg,
Google all you like but don’t forget to clean up the mess after.
Might be worth the trip considering ol’ Tinker Bell never did have much of a costume. No telling what kind of young beauty they stuffed into that tiny green get up.
Walt Disney? Did you hear he was actually Spanish – from Almeria – the local mayor (& theatrical impressario) had it away with the maid – and maid and baby caught a boat taking tin to America – where he was adopted by the Disneys. No US birth cert exists. So it must be true.
Anyway – that’s what a chancer (mayor) in Almeria told me. They’re hoping to set up an interpretive centre. Good luck to them.