I was down in the village yesterday and thought I would call in to Doc, as he owed me some poker winnings.
“Seeing as I’m here” says I to Doc, “I have noticed I have put on a lot of weight in the last couple of months.”
“You don’t look any heavier?” Doc doesn’t believe in new technology such as weighing scales.
I stood sideways and relaxed my stomach muscles.
“Ah! Yes. I see what you mean.” He thought for a moment. “You say this came on in the last couple of months?”
“Have you been in your flowers lately?” he asked.
“What the fuck are you on about?”
“The Curse” he replied. “Have you noticed an absence of The Curse lately?”
“No. She’s still at home where she always is.”
“No, no, no. I mean your Period. Have you had a Period in the last couple of months?”
“No.” I wasn’t going to confuse things by telling him I had never had one.
“That’s it then” he said with a beaming smile. “You’re pregnant! Congratulations.”
I really wonder about Doc.
He knows I’m too old for that.