I do a lot of shopping on line.

In fact just about everything I buy comes from the Interweb with the exception of my baccy, my booze, vegetables and fruit and my meat. 

I buy my groceries, clothes, books and all the shit that makes life reasonably tolerable. 

I mentioned recently that I had had some trouble with a piece of kit, and I thought it was about time to replace it.  I went on line and found that the yoke I was looking for wasn’t that common.  Undeterred, I sniffed around and eventually found a seller in Ireland on eBay.  I like to get stuff from Ireland because the postage usually isn’t so high and it tends to be quicker.

The seller I found had a rather unusual name.  I don’t know how many parents who, when searching for a name for their new offspring come up with Holymaryjoe, but this chap’s parents obviously did.  The poor bloke must have had one hell of a time in school?

Anyhow, to cut a long story into a slightly longer one, I ordered my kit and it duly arrived on a Friday.  Fucking sweet!

I used it on Friday evening, and a bit on Saturday.  I went to switch it on on Sunday and the fucking thing was as dead as Mary Coughlan’s intelligence.  It was quite like Mary Coughlan in fact – it looked reasonably good, but on closer inspection was just a useless piece of junk. 

I wrote to Holymaryjoe and explained what had happened.

No reply.

Then I realised that his yoke on eBay clearly said ‘no returns’.

Fuck!

I chalked it up to experience and wend down the pub for a few pints and a smoke.

When I got home, there was a mail waiting for me.  Holymaryjoe was very concerned that my purchase wasn’t up to scratch.  Despite his no returns policy, he said he was going to sort me out if it killed him.  I’m not sure whether this was a physical threat against me or against himself, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt anyway.  He said he would start sending me replacement parts, bit by bit until we found the problem.

Two days later a package arrived.  Using the new parts I got to work and soon my kit was less like Mary Coughlan and more like Sharon – looking good and working perfectly.

If ever I come across his name again when searching on eBay, I will definitely give him my business.

And if you are wondering where I got the title of this ramble?

It is how he signed one of his emails.

I like!