No place like home
Holidays are great, but sometimes it’s nice to get back to familiar things.
Some people say they miss their own bed. Fuckit – when you’re asleep, you’re unconscious so what difference does it make?
My mother used to complain that she missed her own potato peeler. She started bringing it on holiday with her. How fucking weird can you get?
There are only two things that I miss when I’m away from home.
One is my armchair. It is nicely moulded to my arse, so when I sit in it I don’t slide around or fall out, which is handy after a few pints. It’s also very cosy for dozing in, which is something I can’t say for other people’s chairs.
The other is my curry.
There happens to be a damned good Indian curry house in Skobieville, and what’s even better is that they deliver. They know me well, so they always throw in a few extras, like a side order of sauces or that crispy wafer stuff they like. They give good portions and the meat is always cooked to perfection. I have never had a large lump of lamb in my curry yet that I couldn’t cut with the side of a fork. How tender is that?
I have a celebratory Vindaloo last night to welcome myself home.
It was fucking marvellous.
I have been farting like a trooper all night and shitting the squits all day.
Brilliant.
There’s no place like home.
The potato-peeler-taking should win a prize all right.
If I were your favorite chair, I wouldn’t be so happy about your favorite meal…!
LOL
Vindaloo, curry, lamb, god I wish, all we have here in Mickey Mouse land are f_ _ _ _ing tourists and oil on our beaches, both of which should go somewhere else for a while.
Well said Susan at Stony River. He doesn’t think about the consequence, does he? Not even for his favourites.
Susan & Blackwatertown – It is essential to he health and wellbeing of the person to keep the pipes in good condition and clear. Ask any barman.
John – I’ll swap you a lamb Vindaloo for a million barrels of clean crude oil?
Welcome back, GD. We missed you, and by “we” I mean me because I can’t really speak for the rest but I hope they missed you too.
Geez, Rhodes is a kiss-up… and I’ve put your pur chair on the pope’s prayer list.
Crikey grandad….! So that’s why they call it VindaLOO (?)
Can’t get it over here. At least I’ve never had it – but then I’ve also never seen a true blue Indian Restaurant over here. Our Coffee Shops have commandeered all prime locations…..
(And there’s nothing wrong with my crappy internet/web connection! ).
Brighid – Leave Rhodes alone. There is no need to slag him off just because he obviously wants me to do him a favour at some stage.
Geri – Curries are very good for you. But then so is the stuff they sell in your Coffee Shops, so there is no need to complain. [Have you fixed your crappy computer yet?]
Yeah, quit slagging me off, you never wash your hands first.
Grandad, I don’t want anything but for you to be happy. I’m sending you a jar of butterflies and I’ve ordered a rainbow that will soon appear if there’s sufficient bandwidth.
Hey. Don’t underestimate a good spud peeler, a bad peeling experience could ruin a good holiday! It’s the small things…