Reminding me not to be a killer
If I were running this Godforsaken country, one of the first things I would do is to scrap the Road Safety Authority.
Useless bunch of pricks.
They are whinging again.
“The Road Safety Authority is reminding people to avoid "obvious killer behaviour" such as speeding, drinking or taking drugs while driving.”
Well – Holy Fuck! Here was I about to get tanked up on cocaine and whiskey and then see if I could make Cork in half an hour. Isn’t it so lucky that the RSA has reminded me? I might have done myself an injury.
I would love to know what that shower of wasters cost the state every year. Apart from their undeserved salaries, there are all those over expensive and useless advertisements and all those irritating signs stuck all over the countryside. Do I really need to know how many people are killed in each county I drive through? Is it going to make the blindest difference to the way I drive?
I think the reason the RSA piss me off so much is the way they epitomise the Nanny State. Their sole function is to save us from ourselves. And like the rest of the Nanny State, punishment for the sins of the few is vested on us all. If they had their way, we would all be driving around at 15 kmph and taking a breathalyser test every five minutes.
They fail to see one very simple little fact – the vast majority of us know what the fuck we are doing. It’s the boy racers in their souped up Golfs that are causing the havoc, along with the gobshites in their Beamers and SUVs, so let the RSA go after them and leave the rest of us alone. But no – they have to nag us all the time. They have to come up with their namby pamby little “statements” so they can justify their petty existence. They have to come up with oh-so-clever catchphrases like “speed kills”. Big fucking deal.
I am going for a drive this weekend. I hadn’t intended to, but they have persuaded me.
I am going to burn me some rubber.
I am going to put the pedal to the metal.
I am going to goose the juice.
And if I come across any old chat show hosts – they are straight into the ditch.
Telling SPCOCSH of you Groandad. The Society for the Protection of Old Chat Show Hosts will be LIVID and I have no doubt at all that they’ll write a report. That’ll soften yer cough…
Now you have Make-Up people after you and SPCOCSH yer doomed. DOOMED.
Oh God! Not a report? Anything but that!
I have heard of these people a few times during my various trips down to the Republic of Ireland that I make relatively infrequently. Frankly, I think they’re cunts. If they went after boy racers, serial tailgaters, idiots who overtake on blind corners and so on, I might be prepared to tolerate their existence. But they don’t.
Throw them all in that Icelandic volcano whose name I can’t pronounce nor spell.
We live in a sick society when that That sanctimonious prick “Uncle Gaybo” has official influence in Government policy making.
I hope he gets a lit butt end in his eye when he’s out cruising on his Harly.
The NRA themselves were probably one of the biggest killers until Motorways came along. And I’ll lay money on it that loads of accident reports were doctored before they got to court to protect the NRA from being held responsible.
What about all the people who were killed because of bad road surfaces, lack of markings, hidden dips, overgrown hedgerows, illegible signage, dangerous junctions, sudden bends, missing stop signs, unprotected drops into massive ditches, etc?
“The Road Safety Authority is reminding people to avoid “obvious killer behaviour” such as speeding, drinking or taking drugs while driving.”
Bollocks to that .. I never speed whilst taking a Beecham’s Powder, or a slug of Wincarnis .. it causes you to end up spilling ’em all over the floor of the car …