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Ash my arse

Head Rambles Posted on by

I’m getting a little tired of this volcano thing.

The television is full of it.  The newspapers are full of it.  My car is covered in it.

I asked Herself what she thought about it.  “I feel sorry for all the people trying to go to Switzerland for euthanasia” was her reply.  I didn’t pursue the topic.

Personally, I am indifferent to the whole thing.  I haven’t flown for years, and nor do I intend to for a very long time.  Actually, life is quieter now, with no jets flying overhead.  It reminds me of the 50s when we used to run outside if we heard an aeroplane as it was such a rarity.  I also vote we revert to calling the Dun Laoire ferry “the Mail Boat” once more.  It was always called that in my day.

For a volcano that is the top item in the news every day, it manages to remain remarkably anonymous.  It is always referred to as The Icelandic Volcano, or just plain The Volcano.  The reason being that with typical Icelandic cuteness, they named the mountain Eyjafjallajökull, and no one here dares mention it by name.  I have even heard a theory that the whole business is a conspiracy by the BBC’s Pronunciation Department who triggered the eruption in retaliation for all the crap-speak on radio and television these days.

I tried researching “Eyjafjallajökull” to see what the name means.  Strangely, most translation packages convert it to “Eyjafjallajökull”, which wasn’t much help.  I did some further research into some ancient Icelandic scriptures and came up with a possible meaning – roughly translated, it means “Fuck you Europe, we’re not paying the cash”.  That seems reasonable?

I presume the winds of change mean that the whole topic will soon blow over?  It’s a terrible pity they couldn’t have arranged the eruption for just a month earlier, so all our esteemed government would have been trapped overseas.  It would have given our economy a chance to recover.

I only have one thing bothering me now.

Who in Iceland gets the bill for my car wash?

 

Comments

Ash my arse — 11 Comments

  1. Herself and the son are supposed to be going to Poland on Saturday. Their flight had damn well better not be cancelled because I’m looking forward to my 10 whole days of drunkeness in a nag free zone.

  2. I suppose if all else fails, you could fill them both with Red Bull?  Ten days of drunkenness and no nags sounds like a worthy goal.

  3. Its ASH I feel sorry for. All that whinging about 3rd hand smoke and a bloody mountain goes and deposits carbon all over Europe.

    I suspect there is a little bicycled group wending its way up toward the lip of the volcano ready to stand around in a little circle and do pretend coughs and flap handies against mouths as we speak.

    Don’t remember ASH complaining about bloody fallout from Chernobyl either. Wrong type of pollution, no doubt. Actually if Katla blows it might be worth writing to ASH with a note asking if they will wait for the all-clear before resetting the whingeometer on 3rd hand smoke.

  4. Con – There has been a remarkable silence both from the Anti-smoking lobby and the climate ‘scientists’.  We have been reassured by our minister for transport [!] that there are no health issues.  I presume our minister for health is too busy stuffing her face with pizzas to make a statement?

    I’m a little worried about Chernobyl.  I’m still waiting on my delivery of iodine tablets.

  5. isnt the reasoning on an outright ban slightly flawed or at best overzealous? the last time a plane engines cut out due to volcanic ash was when the idiots flew straight through an actual eruption.. more euro nanny state rubbish. This is akin to not driving your car through a puddle as you know what happens when you try to drive through a lake. … idiots.

  6. Wow a BBC pronunciation department conspiracy- now why doesn’t that surprise me?
    Well, as one who used the ‘mail boat’ many many times I am hoping this stops soon – purely selfish of course – I have a son stuck in Thailand, a member of staff stuck in Ibiza and if it doesn’t get better soon I shall be stuck here instead of Tenerife!!!!!

  7. Okay, I tried 3 times to leave a comment. It was intelligent and witty of course but alas your site absolutely refused to post it. Said it was a bit spammy. And I only had one damn hyperlink in it. I mean, I’ve only been posting comments here for years.
    Fine, since I’m nothing but a spammer now, I’m taking my comment and going home. Screw that old ash-hole of a volcano anyway.
    .-= Kirk M´s last brainfart .. Just shut up and read the news =-.

  8. Speaking of mail boats I recall as a kid moving back to Ireland and we were on the MV Caledonian Express which must have been a leased ship I imagine.

    Many years later that same ship painted glorious white almost ran me down on me little windsurfer in the harbour of some Greek island.

    That ship is out to get me.

  9. Johnie – We don’t even know if the cloud was there.  It was all based on ‘computer modelling’ which is the same ‘science’ they use to predict Global Warming.  It’s purely a case of people covering their asses.

    Kate – It will all be forgotten about in a day or two.  Except of course for the airlines, who’ll be bankrupt.

    Kirk M – Will you please stop blaming my site for your inadequacies?  Just because you don’t know how to properly press a ‘submit’ button, is no reason to blame me.

    Con – I think that is a case of Justifiable Paranoia.  I would be a little suspicious if a number 16 bus that I used to catch to school ran me down on a Tibetan mountain road.  Or maybe it’s just mild coincidence?

  11. Bloody hell!  That first link could have come out of an Irish paper.  A couple of years ago, they built a tunnel under Dublin, and realised afterwards it was lower than the maximum size of lorry.  Fucking idiots.

    I like the sound of the second one though.  Could something decent be about to come out of Europe?  Time to start examining the World Map again!  😈

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