I had to go up to Dublin earlier today.
I fucking hate Dublin, but sometimes these things have to be done.
Seeing as we parked within an ass’s roar of the shops, I knew Herself would vanish, which she did. It’s like some programming glitch that she has a compulsion to head off shopping even though she doesn’t need anything. Being wise to the ways of the world, and knowing she was going to be ages buying next to nothing, I found myself a quiet coffee shop with a little sunny terrace out the back.
It was nice there. I sat in the sunshine, puffing the pipe and supping quite nice coffee and generally contemplating the meaning of life.
Two women came out to the terrace with their sprogs. One woman was enormously fat and she had a revolting slug of a five year old with her. The other woman had a wee black girl of around the same age.
I admit I am prejudiced. I fucking hate fat kids.
I don’t mind kids who are a little overweight, but Little Slug was fucking obese. He had that red blotchy type of round face that is just crying out for a good decent elbowing. His mother was in the same league as her son, and her trousers kept slipping to half mast as she didn’t have a waist to support them. Luckily they never fell the full distance, as I doubt the stomach could have taken that.
In the space of about half an hour, I watched Little Slug work his way through a plate of sausages, a tub of ice cream and two tubs of sweetened creamed rice. He also had half a mug of coffee and one of those large pots of cola. When he wasn’t eating [which wasn’t often] he was yelling. I don’t know what he was yelling for or about; he was just yelling for the sake of it. His ma kept telling him to shut up but he just ignored her and either yelled again or demanded more food.
I passed the time quietly making mental selections of the various torture devices I would like to use on Little Slug. I eventually settled on a nice image of myself beating the crap out of him with a baseball bat.
That kid was so full of sugar, caffeine and additives that it was no wonder he was hyperactive and obnoxious. By the looks of him, I would say he is like that all the time.
I can guarantee that he has been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.
ADHD my hole.
Just starve the little fucker.