Dear Mr Cowen,
I would like to congratulate you on your recent budget.
In particular I would like to congratulate you on your courage in cutting Social Welfare payments to the sick, unemployed and disabled. That was a stroke of genius. Also of course the fact that you included the lowest paid in your pay cuts.
The sooner that the people of Ireland realise that they are of no consequence, the better. You know, and I know that the single most important thing is your personal standing in Europe. At all costs, they are the people you must impress. Who cares if your popularity is zero at home, so long as you are admired in Brussels?
The lessons of Opus Dei are strong. To appease the Lord, one must self flagellate and the more blood the better. You have spilled a lot of blood and the IMF is pleased with your sacrifice.
Your standing in Europe is good now. You were admired for your stance against democracy when you ignored the wishes of your people and reran the Lisbon Treaty. You were admired for introducing those draconian laws against evil smokers, even though they were not requested. That showed initiative.
As a mark of respect for your dedication, I have pencilled you in as a potential candidate for European President in the 2083 elections.
Keep up the good work.
José Manuel Barroso
P.S. Please find enclosed a cheque for €100 towards your flood relief.
P.P.S. Where exactly is Ireland?