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My dog’s hole goes electric — 15 Comments

  1. A friend of mine got one of these. His dog learned that if you run real fast, it only hurts for a second. My friend learned that if you are holding a dog and cross back over the fence, you become part of circuit.

  2. Jim C – I’m all right with the running fast bit as it will be run along the existing fence/hedge/wilderness, so if she runs fast, she will just impale herself.  She’s not that stupid.  As for holding on to her, I will wear my wellingtons.

  3. Hmmm, let’s see if they step the voltage up then the amperage goes down.  It seems to me that we have to figure out how to keep the voltage at 10,000 and step the amps up to about 30.  That should make a nice sizzling noise

  4. You just took the words otu of my latest column.  Although it won’t be printed until later, and in the shops tomorrow, but still!
    Jim C is right, running through it will only hurt for a second.  Get the fences the farmers use to keep bulls in a field.  That’ll stop her.

  5. Brianf – I love my dog, so I don’t particularly want to fry her.  Also I am somewhat averse to the smell of burning dog hair.  I think 10 amps at 5,000 volts should be enough?

    Maxi – Is this an apology for a bit of plagiarism??  As I said to Jim C, I don’t think the running thing comes into it as it is physically impossible.  Cattle fences are fuck all use as they only belt every few seconds.  If you are going to electrocute someone, do it continuously.

  6. For my money I’d go back to tying her onto a long lead – whether she looks miserable or not – your Sandy is just as daft as Hippie!!!

  7. I got the collar and fence for my missus. Trouble is she is wise to that “run fast and it only hurts for a second” thing; so she keeps getting back in.

  8. Kate – The problem with Sandy is that she is too intelligent.  That’s probably Hippie’s problem too [he knows he has you over a barrel when you blog about him].  If you saw the look on her face when she’s on the tie, you wouldn’t leave her there either.

    TT – Have you tried mine-fields just inside the fence?

  9. 10,000 Volts at 30 amps is too much but minefields are OK?  I like the idea of the minefields just outside the fence and the 10,000 volts for people trying to come in over the fence.  Then when you hear them scream you could try some grazing fire about the fence line.
    That’ll make them think twice.

  10. I have one and it works but you have to ‘train’ them very carefully. The company that supplied mine gave me little white flags to place around the boundary, you warn the dog to be afraid of the ‘bad flags’ before activating the fence. Then let them go through after a few days if they haven’t ‘got it’. They get a buzz and it’s enough to deter them. The fence has long been deactivated but Lily still won’t go beyond the boundary -labradors aren’t to shabby in the intelligence field and she remembers. Mind you she’s got five acres to wonder before she fries. The only thing that will make her go through is a fox. Just remember to take the collar off if she’s driving . . .it’ll buzz her as you leave the house!

  11. Our local farmer spends 50% of his life trying to keep relatively unintelligent cows in a field, no chance! They regularly go for a stroll no bother.
    Sandy sounds like she’s got the nonce to beat anything but a 6ft concrete wall surrounding the whole property, oh dear!

  12. Do it and I hope it works. Quite a ways back I was in a similar situation with a female type dog that I still consider to be the best damn dog I ever had. Intelligent with a finely honed sense of humour but like you and your Sandy, when it came to heading out across the road, she was a compete meat head.

    So I ran 5′  high (above ground) welded wire fencing around the entire back yard (not quite as big an area as yours though) and buried an extra 3 feet of it below ground and she still managed to dig her way under it.
    I’m not sure if they had those electronic fences 20 years ago but if they did I certainly wasn’t in a position back then to bear the cost of one. One day I came home from work and saw that she had once again dug her way under the fence. I found her by the side of the road.

    Her name was Sandy.

    See? Now you got me all maudlin and shit.

  13. Brianf – Unfortunately/fortunately Sandy has worked out exactly where the mines are laid.  The neighbours haven’t though.  Heh!

    Baino – I took delivery of it today, and guess what?  A nice bundle of about 100 little flags.  I also got the ‘training DVD’ which gives all the instructions.  It’s fuck all use though as Sandy isn’t much of a one for watching television.  Good point about driving through the gate though.  I’ll just have to drive out at 60 mph?

    Ian – I love a bit of lateral thinking.  I’ll get on to the council right away.  They have most of it gone already anyway.

    Mick – I had a six foot hedge at one part of the boundary.  The next door neighbour used to complain because Sandy would somehow jump up onto it, sit on it and stare in her window at her.  I think it unsettled her a bit.  I had to let the hedge grow to eight foot, but as I can’t reach the top any more it is now nearer fifteen foot.

    KirkM – Aw SHIT FUCK!  I wish you hadn’t said that.  Especially the second last line……

  14. I couldn’t help it. You’re post made me remember and I got all teary eyed and shit.

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