The newest antiquity in town — 13 Comments

  1. It’s just a stone bench. One day you’ll be out mowing the grass and desire a nice sit down and a smoke at that point you shall sit on it and be glad it’s there. See problem solved so for now just mow around it and be happy in your work.

  2. Brianf – A stone bench? And is Newgrange just a garden shed? This is a brand new ancient monument. I suppose I could sit on it, but it would be a bit sareligious.

  3. hey, son! i popped ’round Saturday night and put a lil’ park bench out in your back forty. had heard that you tire easily anymore and need a rest after only 3 holes or so of flinging feces with your 7-iron, so i thought…why not?

    hope you like it. took me and a buncha o’ garulous ol’ farts at the the local pub the better part on the night [and gawd knows how many pints, that i paid for, thank you] to get it set just so. the ol’ guys promised me it was just the thing and you’d be tickled pink…

    drop me a line when you see it, okay?

  4. Wait a minute… isn’t it about a foot closer to the house then it was yesterday? I don’t think it is moving, but if you sit and stare at it for a long time…

  5. Grandad – I’d just leave it if I were you and slap a professional looking sign out front that tells the tourists “Hey! Look what I got here!”. Consider it ‘tourist bait’ if nothing else. Why go out hunting the streets and trails everyday when you can just shoot ’em in your own back yard after charging them for entrance?

    BTW, I have a nice deal going on mower holsters if you’re interested. That way you can always be ready for ones that the sound of mower doesn’t drive away. Just let me know your preferred weapon type, mower type and I’ll whip up a nice custom job for ya’.

  6. Newgrange? Isn’t that the pile of rocks in a big field of rocks? Yea
    I thought so. I like Kirk M’s idea. Charge them admission and then drop them in the garden. Think of all the nice fertilizer you could make for your crop of er’, um….flowers, yea flowers that’s it, flowers. Or you could use it as a rest and get them coming in from the front gate. This, “New Antiquity”, could be pretty darn useful.

  7. Doc – I wondered why the lads down the pub looked so knackered. Spanner is complaining that his back is done in again [but he always says that when it’s his round]. I am tickled pink and i really appreciate it. Thanks, Dad.

    TT – You calling my Dad a fairy?

    Jim C – Shit! Not another fucking moving statue?

    Kirk M – That sounds OK, though it’s a toss up between The Glendoher Dolmen and Head Rambles Dolmen. Any preferences? Do you do Glock holsters for Massey Fergussons?

    Brianf – Yup. Newgrange is the one that gave the Egyptians the idea for the pyramids [though they never got the hang of the natural look]. I like the fertiliser idea too. My ‘flowers’ could do with a bit of a boost.

  8. I like ‘Glendoher’ dolmen. Has a nice ancient type ring to it whereas ‘Head Rambles’ dolmen might make would be targets…er…visitors think twice about it. And no problem with a Massey Fergusson. Made one for a good friend of mine who owns one although he preferred a Beretta 9mm. Glock shouldn’t be a problem. Just send me the specs. As for myself I tend to be a bit old fashioned. I have an old Colt .45 revolver that’s near and dear to my heart.

  9. Could have been worse – they might have left you a Corn Circle.. aarrgghh! Terrible things. There was one in my cornflakes this morning. Gave me a real nasty turn.

  10. Kirk M – ‘Glendoher Dolmen’ it is. I’ll forward you the gun details. I like the silencer on the Glock [don’t want to scare off the ‘game’]

    Geri – Corn Circles in the Cornflakes is a right pain. Especially if the Aliens are still there?

  11. I’ll add on a felt lined silencer holder to the holster then. The felt lining is for easy retrieval. Any sort of design you’d like burned into the holster leather? Laurie is great with Celtic knot designs for instance.

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