I received a letter this morning.
It was from The Revenue Commissioners.
I won’t bother typing out the whole thing, but the gist of it is as follows:
We notice from our records that you never filed a tax return for the year 2007.
If you do not send us a HUGE cheque immediately, we will drill your body full of holes and fill them with nitric acid.
We will then proceed to torture all members of your family, including pets.
Finally we will load you with such big penalties that you will have to spend the next three hundred years paying them off.
So pay up, you smarmy little fuck.
This annoyed me a bit.
That fucker Biffo is so desperate for cash he’s trying to bill me twice. I sent them a tenner last year. I wrote about it, so that is conclusive proof that I paid, and it will stand up in any court.
I phoned them.
I explained that they were bitching about a sum of money that Biffo would “earn” in about a tenth of a second.
They went through my records and came up with a little surprise.
They owe me money.
In fact, they owe me a lot of money.
That’ll teach those bastards in the government not to be so greedy.