I was up at eight this morning and it was beautiful.
The sun was shining, there was a Willow Warbler singing just outside my window and it was a picture of peace and serenity.
Two hours later and it’s fucking mayhem.
The builders arrived early and started ripping the house apart, pulling down walls and things.
Two fellas arrived in a van and took all our furniture. I asked if they were debt collectors, but they said they weren’t. I don’t know who they were.
A skip is due to arrive any minute.
And a tooth fell out.
All the spare space in the house is now full of shit that had been upstairs, and I can’t move anywhere. Beds, boxes, curtains, carpets and stuff I haven’t seen in decades.
Herself ordered the builders. I’m not quite sure what they are doing but one of the bedrooms is suddenly full of dust, and there is a lot of banging and thumping going on. One of the builders muttered something about hoping the weather stays fine for when they rip the roof off. I’m not going to bother asking what’s going on, as she probably wouldn’t tell me anyway.
There is only one thing to do at a time like this….
I’m off to the pub.
As soon as I can find my tooth.