Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow.
That is an old adage that I have lived by for years and it has stood me in good stead.
One of the things I have been putting off for as long as possible is my income tax returns.
However…. the tax people have a nasty habit of jumping down my neck if I don’t submit on time.
Last weekend, I settled down and worked out all my incomings and outgoings. I added in my liabilities [Herself was top of the list] and my assets [GSOH?]. They wanted to know about my offshore accounts, but they can fuck off. Do they think I’m stupid.
At the end of the day, I fed all my figures into the computer and pressed the button.
It whirred away for a moment and then coughed up the final amount that I owe the tax people.
This worried me.
I phoned my accountant, and he asked me to send him my figures. He phoned me a short while later and said that my tax liability was, in fact €3.
Our Glorious Leader Biffo has been going on at length about how we are in the worst financial crisis for hundreds of years. How he knows, I don’t know, as I doubt he has been around that long? He must be serious though, as he appealed to our patriotism, and told us it was our duty to support our country.
Of course the Old Age Pensioners rallied and forewent their medical cards and the children decided they would accept larger class sizes. All the twelve year old girls are going to run the risk of cervical cancer, and all in the name of patriotism.
I felt bad about my measly contribution to the coffers. The government have a lot of important things to spend money on, like employing their families as advisors, or taking trips as far as possible on St Patrick’s day. I felt that I was a traitor to the cause. I felt bad. I felt I had to make a contribution.
I sent ‘em a tenner.