I'm going to buy a Magnum — 23 Comments

  1. Damn, wish I’d seen this site before Christmas when I was buying presents. The todler taser is fab, not to mention the baby bomb jacket. I suppose there’ll be birthdays during the year …

  2. I’m not sure I approve of tazering toddlers, but I can see that it might have its fun side?

  3. Unfortunately it’s a product of the fear that’s being drilled into the heads of every American, a fear that they could get shot/bombed at anytime anywhere. I don’t know about that lady being fit to be a mother but she was definitely not fit to shoot that weapon, she was all over the shop. My First Riot Helmet indeed!

    That is too too funny.
    If you didn’t live in under the thumb of a government that disallows people from being free then you might have an understanding of how an H&K MP-5K functioned and you would know that the video was staged. I love the ‘My First Riot Helmet’. Also please tell me what’s wrong with 2 year olds carrying tasers?

  5. It was a typo, and no one caught on to it.
    The Right To Arm Bears.

    Somebody was sleeping at the wheel.

  6. I just don’t know what to make of the idea of buying your baby riot-gear? How many babies get caught up in riots? How many babies are machine-gunned in their cots?

    I have a nice mental image though of our Puppychild having hysterics every time she tasers the cat!

  7. The Right To Arm Bears.

    Now that makes sense. Take the guns from the humans and give them to the animals. They’d make a lot better use of them!!

  8. Ian – Now you’re showing off again.

    John B – Bugger! You have shattered my illusions.

    Never mind. There’s still this

  9. South Africa is just as bad as the US on the issue of the right to bear arms (they don’t have any bears to arm). In our little town, within the space of 5 years, in two totally unrelated incidents, two pre-schoolers each caused the death of one of their parents upon finding their fathers’ firearms. One shot his mother (who was still in bed) with the gun found under Dad’s pillow. The other shot his Dad with the weapon stored in the drawer of the nightstand.

    They argue that children need to be taught not to touch from the outset. But I can’t conceive of a scenario in which disobedience can lead to death and permanent psychological damage. Children are curious and disobedient by nature. When they pick up an ornament they have been told not to touch, the result may be a broken ornament and a few stitches. This is a different matter entirely!

    Some people protect their children by keeping the gun in a safe, where it is useless in the event of an armed robbery in the house. Can you picture it? Please, Mr Murderous Armed Robber, can you just wait there while I unlock the safe with shaking hands?

    At my father’s wake, there were 40 people, 19 of whom were carrying firearms. Considering that my Dad had died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound, you might consider that insensitive, but the thought didn’t even occur to them. To be without their weapon is tantamount to sending out a written invitation to regard them as a victim.

  10. I completely agree, Karyn. The idea that children should be taught how to handle and respect firearms is ridiculous. If you have guns lying around the place, then people are going to get shot. It is such a simple argument, but the Americans [and others, as you say] just don’t seem to understand.

    There is the argument that people have a right to protect themselves. Against what? Guns are heavily regulated here in Ireland, so the chances of me finding myself face to face with an armed burglar are slim. If any Tom Dick or Harry could buy a gun then, yes, I would feel I would have to own one too. It is a stupid viscous circle.

  11. I’m amazed that some people have to fill out forms to adopt kids after watching that…

  12. Sadly, the site is a hoax, RWG. However, it is too close to the truth, I would imagine. I wonder how many forms you have to fill in to adopt, compared with the number you fill in to get a gun???

  13. Of course the site is a hoax, it’s pretty obvious even from the first page – it’s a viral for the movie Shoot ’em Up. Also says at the bottom “All rights reserved © Shoot ‘Em Up Holdings Copyright 2007. Very well done too – I remember it tricked a lot of mainstream journalists … lol

  14. What the hell! It’s a great site. I’m still going to order my granddaughter a riot shield of her own [Just in case. You can’t be too careful].

    It doesn’t alter the fact that Americans are weird though. 🙂

  15. “Hmm. I tried to buy something to see what would happen and everything ‘is out of stock’. So I googled it and it seems to be a viral.

    Nice to know I’m rambling around the head of an Irish senior citizen now.

    The reason that site works is because it really wouldn’t surprise anyone to find out Americans are that crazy. I say that with some assurance, as I am a crazy American.

    Like your site, sir!

  16. After the initial ‘shock’ I began to catch on. The trouble is, that it’s so convincing – hey, all this is available on other sites already. I was going to write something funny . . but it isn’t. . . it’s sick. We don’t need islamic fundamentalists,the terrorists are in our head!

    Now this site is real:

    Complete with a “Click here for a large range of youth sized guns for kids!” and if anyone says “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people” I’ll ram their shotgun so far up their arse, they’ll taste the barrell! *rants off in disgust*

  17. Guns don’t kill people, people kill people!
    The problem here is that a lot of you folks have a pie-in-the-sky idea that when guns are removed from the honest people that bad people will give them up too. Why is it when both the UK and Oz stole all the guns from their honest citizenry that crime skyrocketed. I have to give it Oz-land theirs went back down a bit but violent crime in the UK continues to rise. Let’s see if i were to change careers and go into the Home Invasion business who would I target? The uber-liberal anti-gun couple or the the freedom loving gun owner? I’ll leave you guys to decide.

  18. “Guns are heavily regulated here in Ireland, so the chances of me finding myself face to face with an armed burglar are slim. If any Tom Dick or Harry could buy a gun then, yes, I would feel I would have to own one too. It is a stupid viscous circle.”

    Really? And just today the Belfast telegraph announced that there were “900 knife crimes in just one year” in Northern Ireland. I guess you’d say those criminals weren’t armed?

    Of course this is after a number of gun bans. So now the UK is talking about “knife crime” and a “knife culture” and people are discussing knife bans. Next they’ll be talking about “brick crime”, “brick culture”, and brick bans. People will be violent whether there are weapons or not. The question is whether or not the victims have the tools they need to defend themselves against criminals. Right now the best tool for self defense is a handgun. Why deprive the law-abiding citizen of the right to self defense?

    “If you have guns lying around the place, then people are going to get shot. It is such a simple argument.”

    Really? By the same logic if you have a pot of boiling water sitting around then somebody’s going to get scalded? If you have a car sitting around then somebody’s going to get run over? If you have a knife sitting around somebody’s going to get stabbed? If you have a rock sitting around somebody’s going to get their skull bashed in?

    With rights comes responsibility. If you’re not responsible enough to teach your children not to play with dangerous objects and not to leave dangerous objects where irresponsible children will find them then that’s a parenting issue you need to deal with. It’s not an excuse to take away a tool that can be the difference between life and death for a responsible citizen.

  19. I’m not going to change the mind of an American gun lobbyist any more than they will change mine. Firearm fatalities in the three largest categories – total firearm deaths, firearm homicides and firearm suicides in Australia have at least doubled their previous rates of decline following the revised firearm legislation in 1996. We have fewer than 300 gun deaths (many accidental, law enforcement shootings or suicides) each year compared to the US 38,000 PLUS!

    Importantly, we do not live in fear. We feel safe unlike many Americans who feel a real NEED to own a gun in order to go about their daily lives. A sad indictment on America, perhaps . . . a long history of gun culture, definitely . . .a constitutional right . . for them, absolutely.

    I have no problem with guns per se. Sporting shootists are entitled as long as they are checked for any criminal history, license their guns and keep them under lock and key. We have gold medal shooters here and we’re very proud of their Olympic achievements.

    It’s the way they write and promote their craft that scares me just as much as their gun ownership. “Put Gun Haters on the Run” for crying out loud! They’ve even stooped to gun shaped cookie cutters now wouldn’t that liven up your next kids birthday party . . have your toddler running around with his gingerbread gun . . kerpow, kerpow!

    Enough said by me. I am lucky enough to live in a peaceful country at the arse end of the world where gun ownership is strictly monitored and violent crime is and always has been, very low.

    Thank you for the opportunity to say my piece.

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