Dancing with sparks

The jinx struck again yesterday.

I mentioned this little jink last year, but unfortunately it was just over a year ago.

There I was yesterday, looking forward to a nice refreshing cuppa as I needed refreshing.  I filled the kettle and switched it on.

Nothing happened.

I flipped the on off switch up and down and still nothing happened.  Then I noticed that the little display on the microwave wasn't displaying either.  FUCK!  A fuse had blown.

So I reset the fuse, went back into the kitchen and switched on the kettle again.  There was a completely silent bang, and the fuse blew once more.  I reset the fuse and plugged the kettle into a different circuit and it blew that too.  I was beginning to get the impression that maybe, just maybe the kettle had gone belly-up?

Now I have had atrocious luck with kettles in the past and as a result I always keep the box and packaging.  I got the box and checked the receipt and found it was out of fucking guarantee.  Bollox!  I did a nifty bit of work on the receipt with a biro and suddenly I bought it on the kettle on the 25th of August last year and not the 25th of May [it’s very easy to turn a 5 into an 8!].  I brought it all beautifully packaged back to the shop.

I marched into the shop wih the boxed kettle under my arm and went hunting.  I picked out the one that looked the most sturdy and didn't have a dribbly spout and brought them both to the supervisors desk with a box under each arm.

"I'm not going to choose between them.  That's your job" says the bloke there before I could say anything.

"Nah!" say I, "I just chose this one [wiggling my right elbow], and I want to return this one [wiggling my left elbow].  Its blowing fuses."

"Sure it's the kettle and not the fuse the socket or the circuit?" says he.

"I'll plug it in if you like?" says I.  I saw he had a socket just behind the desk and thought it would be interesting to see the place plunged into darkness.  He declined and took my old receipt.  The fucker then scanned the receipt into his computer without even admiring my lovely handywork on the date.

"Sorry" say he, "but it's out of guarantee.  You should have brought it back two months ago."  He was a bright spark, this lad.

"The one you have chosen is a great one though.  I have an identical one myself at home for years" says he happily.

"I bet you say that to all the girls" I replied happily.

I left the old one with him.  Maybe some day he'll forget it's faulty and plug it in?

The new one works well.  It's faster than the old one and about half the size [and weight] even though it has the same capacity, which is weird.

I was enjoying my first post-shopping cuppa when I checked the manual.  It had a beautiful diagram of the kettle where each part was numbered.  Underneath was a list of what the parts were – 1: Handle, 2: Spout, 3: Lid and so on.

Are people really so fucking thick these days that they have to be told what a handle looks like?

 

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Comments

Dancing with sparks — 11 Comments

    • Thanks for the tip.  I ended up choosing a Murphy Richard [grand Irish name?].  I looked for my one on your site but they don't list it.

      Anyhows, I'll hold your suggestion for when mine blows up in eleven months time.

  1. I just know how you feel! With me, it’s a pair of GoreTex Shows that start leaking after roundabout a year (we’ve got guarantee here up to 2 ys – I thought in the EU everyhting’s “harmonized”?). I bought expensive shoes with a membrane in order to keep my feet dry? I’ve returned the things three times. I’ll do so until they learn how to not only sell a little sticker that says that the shoes keep your feet dry but actually build the shoes so they do what the little sticker says. I have that rather funny idea that I want to get what I pay for?

    • It sounds very similar to my kettle story.  I think that was the third kettle I returned [all with different faults and all different makes].  The first two were replaced without a problem so this is the first time in ages I have had to part with hard cash.

  2. Never buy the lowest priced electric kettle. Buy a medium priced one. Always keep a hob kettle in your kitchen cupboard so you can boil water on an electric or gas cooker.

    • I never do, and I only go for well known brands.  In case of emergency I break the glass and put on a saucepan of water.  Very slow but it does the job.

  3. In the UK you are covered by the sale of goods act. This intimates that a product should last for six years approximately. 

    • I thought the EU was supposed to harmonise all these things?

      Oh, hang on….  You're not in the EU.  Lucky bastards.

  4. Kettles often seem to pop in areas with water containing more minerals than your average glass of milk. That, or cheap build quality gets to them first.

    We’ve had luck with the more expensive models using a concealed element – no water near the element means no rusting or buildup, and hopefully no more popped fuses 😀

    • Our water here is remarkably mineral free.  What we lack in minerals we make up for in chemicals which usually make the water undrinkable [unless you like drinking from a public swimming pool], but at least nothing ever gets furred up with lime.

      I think all the kettles I have blown up in the last while have been the concealed element type.  I know the last one was and the current one is.  I never even let them boil dry.  I do my best but my kettles show a remarkable lack of appreciation for the care I give 'em.

  5. I bought a kettle over two years ago from Lidl which cost 10€99 and is still doing what its supposed to with a concealed element.  No clue what the make is and don't care to be honest.  I've had big brand kettles in the past which have gone kaput just as the guarantees expire like washing machines which do the same after 13 months.  They say you get what you pay for but I don't think that is always the case.

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