The jinx struck again yesterday.
I mentioned this little jink last year, but unfortunately it was just over a year ago.
There I was yesterday, looking forward to a nice refreshing cuppa as I needed refreshing. I filled the kettle and switched it on.
I flipped the on off switch up and down and still nothing happened. Then I noticed that the little display on the microwave wasn't displaying either. FUCK! A fuse had blown.
So I reset the fuse, went back into the kitchen and switched on the kettle again. There was a completely silent bang, and the fuse blew once more. I reset the fuse and plugged the kettle into a different circuit and it blew that too. I was beginning to get the impression that maybe, just maybe the kettle had gone belly-up?
Now I have had atrocious luck with kettles in the past and as a result I always keep the box and packaging. I got the box and checked the receipt and found it was out of fucking guarantee. Bollox! I did a nifty bit of work on the receipt with a biro and suddenly I bought it on the kettle on the 25th of August last year and not the 25th of May [it’s very easy to turn a 5 into an 8!]. I brought it all beautifully packaged back to the shop.
I marched into the shop wih the boxed kettle under my arm and went hunting. I picked out the one that looked the most sturdy and didn't have a dribbly spout and brought them both to the supervisors desk with a box under each arm.
"I'm not going to choose between them. That's your job" says the bloke there before I could say anything.
"Nah!" say I, "I just chose this one [wiggling my right elbow], and I want to return this one [wiggling my left elbow]. Its blowing fuses."
"Sure it's the kettle and not the fuse the socket or the circuit?" says he.
"I'll plug it in if you like?" says I. I saw he had a socket just behind the desk and thought it would be interesting to see the place plunged into darkness. He declined and took my old receipt. The fucker then scanned the receipt into his computer without even admiring my lovely handywork on the date.
"Sorry" say he, "but it's out of guarantee. You should have brought it back two months ago." He was a bright spark, this lad.
"The one you have chosen is a great one though. I have an identical one myself at home for years" says he happily.
"I bet you say that to all the girls" I replied happily.
I left the old one with him. Maybe some day he'll forget it's faulty and plug it in?
The new one works well. It's faster than the old one and about half the size [and weight] even though it has the same capacity, which is weird.
I was enjoying my first post-shopping cuppa when I checked the manual. It had a beautiful diagram of the kettle where each part was numbered. Underneath was a list of what the parts were – 1: Handle, 2: Spout, 3: Lid and so on.
Are people really so fucking thick these days that they have to be told what a handle looks like?