Paradoxical research

This really has to be one of the best bits of research to date.

Fat and stupid… the shocking fate awaiting children of smokers revealed.

Wow!  Is this the Unified Theory where they have managed to combine the horrors of second hand smoke with obesity and stupidity?  If only they had managed to include alcohol they would have achieved the hat trick.

So what exactly have they discovered?

Well, the first startling revelation is that they "found the passive smokers had much more body fat than their equally heavy peers not exposed to cigarettes".  So in other words, they took a bunch of fat kids and found that there was essentially no difference between their weights except for those exposed to second hand smoke whose fat was then the same weight as those not exposed?  This would be truly amazing except that it makes no sense whatsoever?  There was more of them but they were still the same?

Then we come to the startling outcome that kids exposed to second hand smoke are thickos. 

She said this can translate to a poorer attention span and lower grades in the classroom and on standardised tests, adding: "We are talking about a recipe for an unhealthy child who becomes an unhealthy adult who cannot reach their full potential."

Bang go all those budding Einsteins so, and all because the parents smoked?  [On second thoughts, Einstein smoked so he wasn’t a budding Einstein either!]

Dr Davis added: "Doesn't everyone want their children to be as smart and healthy as they can possibly be?"

Oh do go and fuck off.  The only interest they have in children is to slot them into the headline.

Surprisingly, passive smoking did not appear to worsen breathing problems, such as snoring and short periods of not breathing while the children slept.

It also appeared unrelated, at least at this early age, to prediabetes, insulin resistance and fat around internal organs in the abdomen, especially dangerous for the development of diabetes, and ultimately heart disease and stroke.

No, it isn't surprising at all.  If they had looked a bit further they would have discovered that smoke has little or no effect whatsoever on a child's health.

She noted 28 percent of the participants were already prediabetic, but the incidence was actually slightly higher in the children who were not exposed to second-hand smoke.

Woops!  I take that back.  Smoke protects them against prediabetes.

Dr Tingen said: "If you are breathing in second-hand smoke, it is almost as bad as if you were smoking the cigarette yourself."

Er, can we have some supporting evidence for this little piece of liquid arse dribble?  It's a fucking makey uppey bit of shit and they know it, unless they are seriously retarded.  Maybe their parents smoked?

Data shows half of the US population is exposed at least once daily to secondhand cigarette smoke and approximately 20 per cent of young children live with someone who smokes in the home.

So according to the research 20 epr cent of Americans are obese and stupid?  For once, I can't argue with that.

They do seem to overlook one salient fact in all this research though?

It's a small point but I think it's relevant?

Can they explain how the Twentieth Century produced an enormous surge in scientific knowledge and technical advancement when virtually all the scientists involved would have been constantly exposed to cigarette smoke or even been smokers themselves? Also, I might add, obesity didn't hit the headlines then either?

Through the last century smoking was ubiquitous.  It was almost possible to escape, yet some of the greatest brains survived and obesity wasn't a problem.

Why can't these people just fuck off and get a real job? 

They are a waste of Oxygen.

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Paradoxical research — 13 Comments

  1. So kids brought up with so-called SHS have a lower attention span and lower grades, do they? That would explain why my youngest daughter just got her Master's in international law (with honours), then. And her BA in Arabic (a notoriously 'soft' subject). If she hadn't been exposed to SHS all her childhood, she would probably have done really well.

    On health, the only statistically significant finding to come out of the WHO report (Boffetta et al) on SHS was that children brought up in a smoking household had better health outcomes than children who weren't exposed to tobacco smoke.

    They are compulsive liars. They lie and they lie and they lie, and then they lie some more. They just don't know when to stop. I've ceased to be even slightly surprised at the depths to which Tobacco Control will sink in order to ram their ideology down everyone's throat. They suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder. In their warped perception, the end justifies the means, so lies and deceit are ok.

    • Congratulations to your [appallingly dim] daughter!  Who knows – if she hadn't been exposed to smoke she could be at the top of her game now stacking shelves or flipping burgers?

      What baffles me is that with the lies getting more and more stupid, how someone hasn't called them up on their tatty "research"?  Are people so gullible that they believe second hand smoke only became dangerous a few years ago?

      • Unfortunately, GD, I've come to the conclusion that people are that gullible. Why else would you see comment after comment parroting the TC line on 'SHS'?

        As Goebbels said, if you tell a big enough lie and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it.

        What I find odd is that so many ostensibly intelligent people have been gulled. I don't consider myself particularly clever – I left school at 16 and I'm a carpenter – but when they started with the SHS stuff, the bullshit-alert bells started going off in my head at full volume. It's what made me start taking an interest in the whole TC narrative.

        So why are so many superior intellects being comprehensively fooled, when the real evidence is out there for anyone to find? Not to mention the fact that basic commonsense and observation should tell anyone that there's something distinctly fishy about all these claims.

        • I first heard of secondhand smoke when Roy Castle declared [post mortem] that that's what killed him.  Struck me as a load of bollox at the time and I haven't changed my mind since.

          I swear if they declared that smoking causes children to be born with two heads there are enough fucking idiots out there who would reel in horror and take to Farcebook and Twitter to spread "the appalling news".

          • Roy Castle didn't smoke cigarettes, but I believe he wasn't averse to the occasional cigarillo.

  2. The five Furlong children all grew up in a two smoker house in SHS. All are intelligent. Three have degrees – one at doctorate level. One is an interpreter. One runs a successful own business and none are obese. 

    Aaaaarrrrrgh – WHAT a load of BOLLOCKS.

    Glad you pointed it out. I feel better now!

  3. Oh!  Mea culpa!  Mea maxima culpa!  Nisakiman and I must make an appointment to walk into the sea together in penance for our child abuse!  One completing a soft Phd. in physics with astro-physics, the other preparing her master's after limping into the barn with an upper-second in mediaeval and early modern history.  If only I hadn't been so weak!  *sobs uncontrollably, lights tab*

    • Well, it looks pretty conclusive then. Yours and thelastfurlong's experience confirms it – SHS really does make your kids thick. As GD points out, all our kids have now missed out on a fulfilling career stacking shelves or flipping burgers, and all because of our selfishness. It's time for the sackcloth and ashes…

      I bet my daughter is cursing me from her internship at the UN in Bangkok at the moment. Even worse, the British embassy in Phnom Penh is trying to drag her off to work for them there, poor kid. And she's being hassled by a company in Bahrain who act as political advisors to heads of state. And just to think, she could have had a nice little sinecure in Tesco's Swindon branch. Mea maxima culpa indeed, Mac…

      • *Briefly pauses from wailing and rending garments* Oh we deplorable bastards!  Mine never stop cursing me to the uttermost pits of hell, and I bet yours has a mighty right arm from stabbing her voodoo dolly.  I'm so grateful to the scientific paragons of tobacco control for tearing the scales from my eyes and enabling me to realise what a neglectful monster I am…

  4. So this obviously explains why, as a child that had parents who smoked, got top grades in biology, advanced biology, physiology, and advanced physiology all the while maintaining a weight of 145 to 150 pounds at around 6 feet in height throughout high school. Of course, at other subjects I was only mediocre but that's only because I'm naturally stupid.

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