I have been following the saga of Irish Water with what you might call disinterested interest.

As it lurches from crisis to crisis, all the time tripping over its own incompetence it was become one of the greatest car-crash ventures of modern times.

Their latest pronouncement is the uplifting news that 43% of customers have paid.  I say "uplifting" because Irish Water claim this is an extremely good result.  They are chuffed in the extreme and claim that a lot more people will pay once they have been "reminded".  I can only assume that the threats and intimidation notices haven't gone out yet, and they are banking on a terrified response from the other 57%?

Two thoughts to consider: Firstly the 43% represents the fraction of the total number who Irish Water say are liable, as there a considerable portion who have their own supplies and will never be liable for charges.  Secondly all people who register [whether they are liable for charges or not] will get a nice little cheque for €100, courtesy of the tax payer.  

All in all they are paying out millions, and receiving back less than it costs to collect the money so they must be running at a considerable loss?  And this is a resounding success?

I came across a little piece on Farcebook which nicely encapsulates the whole fiasco:

We were in Tesco earlier and we noticed something very unusual. A lot of customers were walking out without paying at the checkout. We stood and counted and worked it out. Approximately 57% of people were leaving without dipping into their purses/wallets. We asked the manager if he was gonna do anything about this and his response was "I'm hugely satisfied" and "it's a really good start".

PS: when we asked the customers why they refused to pay for their goods, they said they'd already paid at another till and the shop was trying to bully them into paying twice. No flies on them, eh?

Another thought has crossed my mind.

If 43% is such an excellent result, then I reckon I am entitled to approach the Department of Education and ask them for a reevaluation of all my old exam results?  Any exam I ever did where I got more than 43% should be upgraded to a First Class Honours?

It's only fair?

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Where failure is a resounding success — 4 Comments

  1. Grandad it does seem only  that your exam results are adjusted should i address you as "Doctor" Grandad now!!

    On another note maybe i should register as well 100 euros would come in useful especially as i don't live in Ireland so shouldn't be liable

    • Just plain Sir will do fine.

      Knowing Irish Water there is an excellent chance you would get your €100 as their level of competence seems to be remarkably low.  By the time they get around to sending it though the Euro will probably be history.

  2. What happened to this Eurostat stress test on IW?  Conveniently forgotten or just burying the head in the sand probably. I thought the company had to raise over 50% of its running costs from customers by April to prove it viable and prevent it being added to the State balance sheet. If that happens then I presume that the setting up of Irish water as a private entity could be deemed illegal.

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