A tale of our times

Are we sitting comfortably, children?

Then I'll begin.

Once upon a time there was a land, and in that land there were many tribes.  The people of those tribes were happy and went about their business without a care in the world.

One day however, the leaders of a small group of tribes held a meeting.  They were greedy people and wanted to rule the whole land and not just their own tribes.  They knew the other tribes would never agree to being ruled so they invited the fearsome and terrifying dragon Eu to help them.

Soon all the land was living in fear of Eu.  They had to hand their wealth over to him, but the more gold and jewels he collected, the more he demanded.  Soon the tribes were penniless but they still had to try to pay the dragon.  Indeed in some of the tribes, Eu demanded so much that the people had nothing at all left for themselves.

One of those tribes was known as Ire.  They had a prince who at first they thought was a knight in shining armour, but he had turned out to be wearing nothing more than cheap plastic.  He went by the name of Enda, but the people called him Kunt.  The people of Ire hated him because he sided with Eu and promised Eu he would strip the lands of Ire to the bone if only Eu would like him.  Eu liked to be adored and he told Kunt they could be close friends if Kunt could give Eu even more riches.  The people of Ire were soon starving and penniless.  They pleaded with Kunt to help them but he would only listen to Eu.

There was another tribe though called Gre.  They said they had had enough of Eu and they said they weren't going to pay him any more gold and jewels until they had enough to live on themselves.  Eu was very angry as he wasn't used to people standing up to him and he threatened Gre that he would scorch their lands and eat every one of them.  But the people of Gre stood firm.

Kunt wasn't happy to see his friend Eu being stood up to so he told the people of Gre that they should be like the people of Ire and give the dragon whatever he wanted.  The people of Gre knew he was only a lickarse though and told him to fuck off.

The people of Ire then learned that Kunt was a yellow coward and was secretly hoping that the tribe of Gre would defeat the dragon so he wouldn't have to pay so much to Eu himself.

The people of Ire stopped calling him Kunt and called him Hypocrite instead.

Isn't he a two faced little bollix, children?


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A tale of our times — 9 Comments

  1. A harrowing tale indeed. You ought to ring up Peter Jackson about it. I'm sure he could take your tale and make 3 3-hour movies from it. Of course, he'll make a happy ending out of it and throw in all sorts of elves, dwarves and those damn "little people" into it as well as your usual load of horrible monsters and such but I'm sure it will be a box office smash.

  2. The tribe of Gre have long been a somewhat wayward bunch. Eu has been commanding them to ban smoking everywhere, with menaces, for ages; but the Gre tribe has always just said "yes, ok", and then done nothing about it. This has made Eu very angry, so last time he said "If you don't really, really ban smoking, then I shall vent my wrath on you!". So the people of Gre said "Yes Sir, Immediately Sir!".

    And did nothing about it.

    Oh, that Gre tribe. They are just so………….difficult…………

  3. I don't know if this mythical fairy tale of yours was supposed to be funny, but it certainly made me laugh. Someone should make it into a film a la Monty Python.

  4. Shwmae GD – my, you have a way with words – far more interesting than the main stream press. May you and your new mobile phone keep your charge for many years. 


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