Selling my soul to the highest bidder

I am still waiting.

That long promised package from Irish Water still hasn’t arrived.

When it does arrive, it is my intention to write “No Contract, No Consent, Return to Sender” on it.  I shall then place it in a clear plastic envelope and post it.  The reason for the clear plastic is to protect the postal workers from the piss and other excrement that will also be enclosed.  I have nothing against postal workers.

In case you are under the false illusion that I am just a crank and a troublemaker, I am not alone in my opinion of Irish Water.  In fact I read an excellent piece by Gene Kerrigan who sums up my feelings pretty accurately.  I recommend that you read it in full.

I just had a look at the Irish Water website, and made a bee-line for their Data Protection page.  As Gene points out, Irish Water have kindly used a very light grey font on a white background which makes for a spot of squinting.  I’m just surprised they didn’t use a white font.

“Irish Water will also request Personal Public Service numbers (PPS numbers) from customers. This information will only be used to verify and validate that customers are entitled to any relevant water allowances and will only be shared with the Department of Social Protection for this verification purpose.”

For those who live abroad, a PPS number is a “Personal Public Service” number.  This is the number which apparent we are tagged by the gubmint.  You see, the gubmint doesn’t know who Grandad is.  It only knows 14875528W who resides on their database for the purposes of screwing money out of.   14875528W, as far as the gubmint is concerned, is me in my entirety.  I’m just surprised it isn’t tattooed on my arm.

But now a private company wants access to this number so they can cross check with other gubmint agencies, such as the tax people, and thus can find out all my personal financial details.  However they do promise to only share that number “with the Department of Social Protection for this verification purpose” which is reassuring?  Incidentally, please remember that as well as my PPS number they also want my address, phone number [landline and mobile], email address and banking details.

“Irish Water may share the customer’s data with agents or third parties who act on behalf of Irish Water in connection with the activities referred to above. Such agents or third parties are only permitted to use the customer’s data as instructed by Irish Water. They are also required to keep the customer’s data safe and secure.”

Hold on now…  suddenly that data which will only be used for verification is now being given to “third parties”?  They don’t say who, or for what purpose, but we are reassured that Irish Water will look after our interests?

“In some instances, Irish Water may use and retain personal data where an individual is not a customer. This is held by Irish Water solely for the purpose of verifying and validating that the individual is not receiving Water Services from Irish Water and will be retained for no longer than is necessary. Once validated, this data will not be retained by Irish Water.”

So now they want information on people who aren’t even customers?  Fucking hell…..

“Data that we collect from you may be transferred to a destination outside the European Economic Area (“EEA”). Where this is the case, Irish Water shall be responsible for ensuring that all relevant laws are complied with to secure the data. It may also be processed by staff operating outside the EEA who works for us or for one of our suppliers. Such staff maybe engaged in, among other things, the processing of your request for information and the provision of support services. By submitting data to Irish Water, the customer agrees to this transfer or processing. Irish Water will take all steps reasonably necessary to ensure that your data is treated securely.”

This goes from strength to strength.  Now they want to ship my personal and private information anywhere in the world?  Once again, they fail to mention who they have in mind.  The Russian Mafia?  Computer Hackers Inc.?  And still I am to be reassured that this information will be used with the utmost respect and confidence?  And just by returning their fucking form I am agreeing to all of this?

So to summarise, Irish Water want private and personal details about me that I wouldn’t even tell a bishop.  They promise to keep it secret and secure but will share it with God knows who under the assumption that they will keep it secret too?  And what is to stop these other unknowns passing it on to all their buddies?

They can kiss my sweet fat hairy arse.

I wish the postman would hurry up.

I’m bursting for a crap.

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Selling my soul to the highest bidder — 11 Comments

  1. Well said that nan. I put ANRNCRTS on any envelope that arrives with a Mr in the address field. after just six months of doing this the letterbox is rusting up.

  2. I liked Gene Kerrigan's article but understand that he was wrong on something which he then proceeded to get mileage from.

    "At first, some of us were suspicious of the fact that Irish Water won't sell us water unless we give them our PPS numbers – and that of every child in the house.The people who sell me electricity and gas and chicken tikka masala can deliver the stuff to my house without needing my PPS number."

    Irish Water website:

    "If you don’t contact us or we don’t receive an application online, by telephone or by post from you, your bills will based on the details we have about your household. If you have an Irish Water installed water meter, we will charge you for water services based on water meter readings. If you do not have an Irish Water installed water meter, we will charge you based on the information available to us in accordance with the approved water charges plan."


    So my understanding is that Irish Water will sell water to Gene Kerrigan without his PPS number but they will not give credit to Gene Kerrigan for the 'free water' allowance unless he gives his PPS number. Just as he will not get an old age pension free travel pass without his PPS number.

    I agree that it is wrong for PPS number to be shared with a private/semi-private company but believe that the impact of Gene Kerrigan's article was diminished


    • That is all indeed true but the bottom line is that they want all your details [and don't exactly shout about what they do with them], and if you don't give them everything they want they will charge you considerably more.  I would call that robbery with menaces.

      Regarding the free travel pass – that is something that is administered [and funded] by Social Welfare so they are entitled to use the PPS.  The various transport bodies involved never get those details.

      • I haven't received the form yet but I presume that if it does contain a water account number, one could put the PPS security issue back to the state.

        Write to Alan Kelly or Michael Noonan confirming (they already have an address associated with every PPS) the PPS numbers of those resident in the house and ask him to confirm to Irish Water the appropriate 'free water; allowance but without giving him permission to pass on your PPS number for confidentiality reasons

  3. Just read that article ri "Obedientia Civium, Urbis Felicitas": The obedient citizen makes for a happy city.

    Fuck me stiff how blatant does it have to get before folks realise, grasp, understand, see, know they are being shafted from cradle to grave by a bunch of thieving arseholes?
    Mind it's just the same over here but I've never come across a motto as explicit as that one on this island.

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