Turkish Delight

Dear Open24 Customer,

Please note that we have recently upgraded our server in order to improve our service. We have thoroughly tested the new server and are satisfied that it operates correctly while interfacing with Internet Explorer versions 4 and higher and Netscape versions 4 and higher browsers that account for 98% of our users.

In the interest of security, Please click below and upgrade your account to avail of this site’s facilities. We apologise for any inconvenience caused.

UPGRADE YOUR ACCOUNT HERE.

Kind regards

Open24

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or send any queries to this email. If you receive this communication in your bulk/spam folder, you are hereby advised to move it into your inbox in order to access the link. If you are not the intended recipient or you received this in error, please destroy any copies, electronic, paper or otherwise, which you may have of this communication. Thank you for your cooperation.

–oOo–

Dear Open24,

Thank you so much for your recent communication regarding the difficulties you have been experiencing.

I fear I must impart some rather disturbing news however.  I realise that you have probably spent considerable time and money upgrading your servers, but I’m afraid things have moved on a little since 1997 when Internet Explorer and Netscape were still at those versions.  The sad news is that Internet Explorer is now somewhere around version 9, while Netscape has morphed in Firefox which is now at version 32 so while I appreciate your efforts, you seem to still have some considerable catching up to do.

I don’t actually have an account with you and never have, so you may need to check your records on that one as well.  However I am impressed with your stringent efforts to keep your technology up to date so I thought I would open up a new account.  I tried clicking on your link in order to open an account and my browser immediately started shouting at me that your site was a suspected forgery.  I ignored that, as I know you are a reputable bank [though you may want to check your servers again?].

The next bit baffled me a little.

My page went blank and I was told that the Interweb couldn’t find your server.  What was even more baffling was that the site the Interweb couldn’t find was a place called “babylonekids.com”?  I presume this site is run by one of your directors?  You may want to have a word with him?  [To help you find him, he is Abdullah Sayim and he is the bloke who commutes to your offices in Ireland very day from Bursa in Turkey].

You have sent me two mails since I received the one above.  Both plead with me to upgrade my account which I don’t yet have because Babylonekids isn’t working.  At least both of the links on those work but that’s probably because they go to a different server [bursaenkaz.com, run by Cagatay Deniz who also coincidentally commutes from Bursa in Turkey.  I wonder if they know each other?  Do they share a taxi on their daily commute?].  Sadly that site only allows me to enter my existing details and there is no facility to open a new account.

If it is of any help, I know a little bit about the Interweb because I have been writing on it for a while.

Have you considered upgrading your servers to Windows 3.1?

Grandad

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