Big news day

Today is one of those days where according to the meeja nothing seems to have happened.

For once, no one has been spectacularly murdered [usually in front of his Innocent Family].

For once no one seems to have died on our roads.

The news outlets are having to revert to boring stuff about Russia invading Ukraine and Europe being in financial trouble with threats of a recession. 

Oh, and Maureen O'Hara is to receive a Lifetimes Achievement Oscar!

So this is what's making our little world go around?

They missed out on the biggest news of the year though.

I seem to have finally fixed my fucking gate.

I went out yesterday and bought some steel cable, a series of little cable-clamps and one of those yokes with a hook and eye that you twiddle to tighten things.  The cable now stretches from the top of the gate post down to a steel anchor [actually part of an old kitchen range – you see – these things do come in handy if you hoard 'em?] which in turn is buried under a pile of concrete blocks.

I went out this morning to see if the gate is jammed.  It isn't!  For the first time in a year the gate opens with a simple lift of the latch and there is no wiggling and waggling of the gate to get the fucking thing to open.  I can't remember the last time that happened.

Now how come the papers didn't report that?

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Comments

Big news day — 4 Comments

  1. NOTHING HAPPENED

    Inside: CELEBS   BIKINIS    FOOTBALL TRANSFERS   CROSSWORD  ASTROLOGY   RACING RESULTS

    Tomorrow's news:  VICAR RUNS OFF WITH BISHOP'S GAY WIFE SHOCK

  2. You didn't include a picture of the fixed gate, that's why the news didn't pick it up. Or better yet, a video of the fixed gate working properly panning to the fix itself. With hyped up, pointless, accusatory narration included of course (you can get K8 to do it?):

    "For the first time in over a year, the gate at [insert your name here]'s home, author of the [in]famous personal blog, Head Rambles, finally opens and closes properly. Why has this happened? The reason is simple enough. [insert your name here] actually applied a home built fix using items easily found at any hardware store plus a piece of an old stove, hoarded from bygone days. But the real  question people ought to be asking is this. Why did it take so long for this simple problem to be fixed in the first place? Why, for over a year, did village employees, service personnel from various companies, solicitors and yes, even our nation' employees have to struggle for over a year with this reticent gate that could have easily been fixed over a year ago. We now take you to our reporter, [insert the over paid, perfect hair'd actor-for-hire's name here], who is now live at the scene, for further details."

    Something like that anyway. Over-hyped, pointless, accusatory video clips always grabs the headlines. You might also want to include a close up of the ground where some poor sod lay after being severly injured ("who later died of his wounds" of course) while trying to open your gate.

    • Indeed I should have included a tediously boring video of the gate being open and closed.  With the weirdness that passes for the Interweb these days it probably would have "gone viral"?

      The reason it took so long to fix was simple – what's the hurry?

      • I'd love to see you do it. The video that is. We could plaster it all over YouTube and I'd share it on Facebook and Google+. And here's an idea. You could crowd source the funding for the making of the video, say around 5000 or so since you don't want to be too greedy. Then you could pop for a decent digital video camera for a couple hundred and the price of lunch or drinks at the pub for those helping you make the video. And no one could sue you for pocketing the remainder since crowd source funding is considering "donations", right?

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